Kei
By Ray Virago

	The location is near the train station in the Gambetta 
quarter in Nice.  The apartment is a studio with a separate kitchen 
and a pink bathroom.  The floors are white marble with black streaks 
and spots.  Around the bedroom/living-room a modern setup is 
noticeable: a black framed king size bed, a black wooden stool, a 
black half size bookcase filled with neat rows of colorful folders 
and Japanese books.  The window is a floor to ceiling. left to right 
huge over-sized sliding door type with black hand pai
ntings on it.  To the left of the window is a door accessing the 
kitchen.  The bathroom door is to the right of the entrance and 
houses a pink sink, a pink toilet bowl, a pink bathtub, a frameless 
mirror, and pink walls.
	The sky outside is a crimson color and Kei is wandering 
around the room with a bowl of rice in her hands and the TV and 
radio both blaring nosily in the background.  She is dresses in a 
black top and gray stretch pants.  She is also barefooted.

KEI: [Sitting on the bed, stuffing her mouth with white rice and 
hijiki.  She mumbles to herself.]  So, what is it I'm supposed to do 
now?  Sit around and wait?  Wait for them to decided to come by, if 
they feel like it?  Great, just great!  Laetitia, Steve, Sonya, 
they're always late, always making me wait around like a fool.  Damn 
them all.  Shit, after all this is my apartment, not their "come by 
when ever I feel like it" place.  That's enough, I've been here 
three hours waiting for them, and not even
 a call.
	[She gets up and strolls over to the kitchen.  She dumps the 
rest of the rice in the trash can and places the bowl under some 
running water.  Kei turns around and leans against the sink and 
sighs.  All is so quiet and calm.  She closes her eyes and remembers 
a scene from a month ago.]
CHRIS: So, did you have fun today?  How did you like shopping on 
Avenue Jean-Medecin?  If you ask me, I think we enjoyed ourselves.  
[He leans closer to Kei as to kiss her but she steps back at the 
last minute and walks into the kitchen.]
KEI: Yeah, it was okay.  Nothing great.  I was out there before, you 
know... it's not like I just got here yesterday.
CHRIS: [Following her into the kitchen.]  Sorry, you're right, 
you've been here w hole two weeks already.  Anyway, how was it in 
Dakar?  I heard from Leatitia you had it rough there.
KEI: [Kei does not answer, instead we see a tear form in her left 
eye as she faces away from Chris.]  Sorta rough, but the truth is I 
left all my friends back there and now I'm in France, I don't speak 
the fucking language, and I'm all alone.  Yeah, it was rough, but 
that is why I'm here, to forget it all.
	[Kei spins around and all Chris can see is a smile on her 
face.  She takes her top off and embraces Chris pushing her tongue 
deep in his mouth.  Chris unbuttons his fly and turns Kei around to 
penetrate her right there in the kitchen from behind.
	A few minutes later we hear Chris in the pink bathroom 
washing his hands while Kei is sitting on the bed dressed, holding a 
cigarette between her fingers.]
KEI: Damn fucking right.  I've gotta stop this shit before I fuck up 
again like I did in Dakar.
CHRIS: Did you say something?  [Calling from the bathroom.]
KEI: Nothing.  I have to leave, so get ready.
	[Kei comes back from her flashback and splashes some water 
on her face.]
KEI: It's been too long.  This can't go on forever.  Is it fair?  Is 
it?  [She passes her hand over her stomach.]  Fuck you, fuck you and 
everything you ever wanted from me!  Chris was okay, and I really 
needed a good fuck that day.  I needed to forget.  I needed to 
forget Dakar so badly.  [Phone rings.]  Hello.  Oui c'est moi.  Non, 
j'n'veut plus aller.  Va sans moi.  Va te faire futre connard!  Je 
t'ai dit que j'ai envie de rester ici... bye.  [The phone falls in 
it's cradle.]  This has got to end...
	[Kei changes into a pair of jeans and walks out.]
(Sunday)
	
	Sunday afternoon, around five o'clock.  The sky outside is 
once again a crimson red.  the door to the apartment opens and Kei 
enters dressed in light colored blue jeans, black ankle boots, and a 
navy blue blazer.  She removes her boots and walks over to the 
kitchen.  Inside the kitchen there are a few unwashed dishes and 
glasses, a half empty bottle of vodka and a plastic container with 
various chop sticks.  Kei opens the fridge and pours herself a glass 
of milk.  She returns to the bedroom/living room 
area.
	The apartment is a little different to those who may notice. 
 There is an empty wine bottle with no label on the book rack, 
filled with water and four black roses.  On the floor, up against 
one of the walls, we see a half completed painting of a white visage 
on a black background.
	Kei sits at the desk and pulls out of her pocket a chunk of 
hash she just purchased for 200 francs at the Jardin.  She takes out 
a pack of Marlboro and a lighter.  Kei then opens her desk drawer, 
searches around a little, and finally finds a book of rolling 
papers.  With carefully stable hands she pulls out a sheet of paper 
from the book, then she breaks open a cigarette and spreads the 
tobacco on the paper.  Using the lighter, Kei heats a corner of her 
dark, pungently rich smelling hash and sprinkles i
t over the tobacco.  With expert fingers she rolls a joint and leans 
back to take her first few drags.

KEI: [Holding the joint in one hand and the glass of milk in the 
other.]  This is good shit, not like the last time that Arab fucker 
screwed me.  I needed a good joint, with all this mess just blowing 
up around me.  [She leans further back into the seat and props her 
feet up against the desk.  She downs her milk and sets the glass on 
her desk.]  Time to enjoy, to feel, to respire the meaning of life, 
just the way I was taught.  Why, I ask myself a million times, why? 
 Here in this shit country, in this s
hit school, in this shit hole of an apartment, stuck talking to 
people I don't even care to know.  Sonya, she's nice, maybe a little 
too nice.  I wonder what's up with her... and that Wille, he's nice 
too.  [Loud knock on the door.]  Qui est la?
SONYA: It's me, Sonya.
	[Kei quickly butts out the joint and sweeps everything from 
the desk into the drawer.  She goes to the door and opens it.  
Stepping aside, she motions Sonya to enter.]
SONYA: How are you?  A bit of an unexpected visit huh... [A wry 
smile crosses her lips.]  What's the smell in the air?
KEI: What do you want?
SONYA: [Takes the chair at the desk.]  Nothing, just stopping by to 
see how things are going, everything okay?
KEI: [Closing the door and walking over to the bed.]  Yeah, 
everything's just fine and dandy.
SONYA: So, can I have a hit?  Or is it only for special people?
KEI: Hit of what?
SONYA: You know, the shit...
KEI: [Relieved and hesitating.]  Sure.  [A sigh.  Kei leans back on 
the bed and closes her eyes for a few minutes.]  It's in the top 
drawer.
SONYA: [Opens the drawer and takes out a half burnt joint.  She 
finds the lighter to and lights up.]  Mmmm, not bad, not bad at all, 
whacha pay for it?
KEI: 200 for 5 gees.
SONYA: [Gets up and walks over to the bed.  She sits down beside 
Kei.]  What's the matter?
KEI: Nothing.
SONYA: What is it?  Don't wanna talk about it?
	[Sonya takes a drag of smoke and bends down toward Kei.  Kei 
still has her eyes closed and does not notice Sonya approaching her 
face.  Sonya presses her lips to Kei's and blows the smoke into 
Kei's mouth.  Kei's eyes rip open with surprise as she furiously 
inhales not to choke.  The smoke rejuvenates her and a spark of life 
shoots through her body.  With a sudden jerking motion she sits up 
and exhales the white smoke.]
KEI: Gimme that please.  [Gesturing for the joint.  Sonya hands it 
to her.  Kei takes another drag.]  So, you want to know what's my 
problem?  I don't like it here, and I don't particularly like you.  
The truth?  I've had it, that's all, I'm just tired of it all.  I'm 
so damn weak it's not even funny.  All day I sit around, I paint a 
little, I study for my bullshit classes, and I live on, hour after 
hour plotting....
SONYA: [Interrupting.]  Plotting...?
KEI: Making decisions for others, deciding that fate of others I 
don't even know, plotting!  [Kei walks around the room and enters 
the kitchen.]  Want a drink?
SONYA: Sure...
	[Kei pours a large glass of vodka and comes back into the 
room to hand it to her.  Sonya takes a large gulp thinking it's 
water and coughs loudly as her eyes start to water.]
KEI: Can't handle a little drink?  [Kei starts laughing hysterically 
as the hash begins to affect her.]
SONYA: [Coughing.]  Fuck you.  [Takes a small sip this time.]
KEI: What's that wrap on your wrist for?
SONYA: I hurt myself sometime ago.
KEI: How?
SONYA: With a blade.
	[Kei stops walking.  She is surprised, but does not want 
Sonya to know.  She is still not facing her.]
KEI: With a blade?  What'd you try to do?  Kill yourself?  [A forced 
smirk.]
SONYA: No.  Just wanted to taste my own blood, I wanted to see my 
body bleed....
KEI: Period not enough for you....
SONYA: I was making sure of my own reality.  Just making sure.  [She 
gulps the last of her vodka and places her glass on the marble floor 
beside the bed.  She gets up wavering a bit and makes for the door.] 
 Thanks for the drink.  Seeya tomorrow in class.
	[Kei does not even move.  Her eyes are fixed to the building 
in front, the darkening sky, the blunt truth Sonya's words ringing a 
familiar sound inside her confused head.  the ash of her joint falls 
to the ground as does the remains of the joint as her grip loosens. 
 Her door closes behind her.  Two minutes pass by, still no movement 
from her limps.  Then, as by chance, she snaps out of her state.  
She bends to pick the joint up and lies down on the bed kicking the 
glass by mistake.

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]
KEI: [Staring at the ceiling with her arms bent behind her head.]  I 
never would have believed it.  Sonya too.  This can not be 
happening, all at once, so fast, so restlessly, and I'm left here 
all alone as the world moves on.  [She falls asleep.]
Act Two
(Monday)

	Monday afternoon, around 5pm in Kei's apartment.  The late 
afternoon sun is streaming through the windows of a dark room.  The 
front door opens and Kei enters followed by Paul.  The two enter: 
Kei moves to the bed dropping her stuff on the floor; Paul takes the 
chair at the black desk.

KEI: [Lighting a cigarette.]  Do you want a drink?  Maybe a gin and 
tonic?
PAUL: [Making himself more comfortable.]  Sure, but lots of ice.  
Thanks.
	[Kei moves to the kitchen.]
KEI: [From the kitchen.]  So, what happened today in math class?
PAUL: Don't you think it's time you showed up?  What's it been, two 
weeks now?
KEI: Yeah, just after we met [says met with a little sarcasm] I 
stopped going.  But who cares, you tell me what's going on anyways, 
and that's just as good, if you ask me.
[Kei returns holding two drinks.  She gives one to Paul and sets 
hers down on the desk.  She goes to the bathroom to urinate but 
leaves the door open.]
KEI: [From the toilet bowl with the sound of urine in the 
background.]  I need your help.
PAUL: To wipe your cunt?
KEI: No you idiot.  With myself.  [Flushing noise.]  I need to talk. 
 [Washing her hands.]
PAUL: About...
KEI: About me...  [She returns, takes her drink and walks to the 
bed.]
PAUL: Well... [Sipping his g'n't.]
KEI: What do you know about Sonya?
PAUL: [Startled.]  Sonya?  
KEI: [Nods a yes.]
PAUL: Nothing much except what's going around.  I heard she's losing 
it.  Father and mother are always pushing her way to fucking hard.  
Then came the baby and that really did it, father almost killed her 
on the spot... she aborted and then tried to do her self.  But then 
again this is all rumor, maybe...  [Gulps his drink and lights up a 
camel.]
KEI: Sounds familiar doesn't it?  [Drinks, then takes another of the 
many drags she's been taking all along.]
PAUL: Yeah, sure does.  You never did tell me how your parents took 
it...
KEI: Who fucking cares.  [Finishes her drink.]
PAUL: [Forces a laugh.]
KEI: I decided I'm gonna try it.
PAUL: What?
	[Kei gets up and walks to the hi-fi and places a CD in the 
player.  The sweet music fills the room like water pouring into a 
crystal glass.  she walks to the window slowly, like moving through 
suryp.]
KEI: I'm going to run that little scene I told you about.
PAUL: [Jolting up.]  Bullshit.  There is no fucking way, get it?  
We've been over it already.  [Walks over to where Kei is standing.]
KEI: [Turning around to face Paul.  Tears are forming in her eyes.] 
 I have to.  Do you think this is easy for me?  [Raising her voice.] 
 Do you?  [Back to her soft voice.] [She wipes her face with her 
black sleeve.]  I thought it over and over and over the whole two 
weeks.  [Moving Paul out of the way and walking toward the desk.]  
What do you think I've been doing these days at home, playing with 
myself?  [Opens drawer and gets an already made joint.  She lights 
it up using her cigarette.]  Bullshit yo
u say?  Yeah sure, this is bullshit, this whole fucking thing is 
bullshit, this apartment, Eric is bullshit and so was the London 
clinic.  Look at it, all of it and tell me what you see.
PAUL: [Walking toward Kei and taking her joint.  Takes a deep drag.] 
 I see bullshit, clear and simple.  What the hell are you trying to 
prove?  Starve yourself, a little booze and shit, what the hell do 
you think it's gonna get you?
KEI: [Calmly.]  May be nothing from your point of view, but I need 
it for myself.  [Paul walks away from her. once again toward the 
window.  Before he leaves, Kei takes the joint from his hands.]  For 
too long now I've been feeling empty, everything around me is so 
ridiculous, void.  Look at this place, look at my life, what you see 
is translucent, blank.  [She opens a drawer in her desk.  From the 
drawer she removes a beautiful Japanese knife with the blade wrapper 
in purple cloth.  She unsheathes the k
nife.  Paul is not watching, he is still looking out the window.]  
Paul, look here...  [Paul turns around and looks at Kei.  His 
immediate reaction is one of confusion, then he notices the blade.]
PAUL: Please... not around me...
	[Kei places her left arm flat on the desk and glides the 
knife's blade over her forearm in a long diagonal line.  Then, She 
crosses that line with another stroke at a 20 degree angle.  Almost 
immediately, the two lines turn red and blood begins to flow.]
KEI: This is real, not the garbage people theorize about and what 
great intellectuals talk about.  This is as real as it gets.  [Kei 
lifts her arm and licks the blood.]
PAUL: [He knew from talking with Kei that this was not the first 
time.   Even so, he is in a state of disbelief.]  How does it feel? 
 I mean, when you cut yourself, does it hurt?  [He sits on the bed.]
KEI:  [Finishing the joint.]  It feels like a paper cut at first, 
then when the blood comes it starts to sting and then the pain goes 
straight to the brain burning deep inside my arm.  I want to scratch 
it, but it only makes it worst.
PAUL: I don't know.  I just really don't fucking know.  [Shakes his 
head in disbelief.]
	[Phone rings.  The mood is broken like a shattered pane of 
glass.  Kei, startled, gets up to answer, as blood is dripping down 
her arm.]
KEI: Allo, oui?  Oh... hi Sonya.  No.  Okay... okay.  Look I've got 
to go.  No don't call later, I'm going to bed now.  Look I'm tired, 
I'm going now, okay?  Bye-bye.
PAUL: Sonya, hum?
KEI: Yes... she wants to know why I wasn't in school today.  Can you 
do me a favor?
PAUL:  What?
KEI:  Tell Sonya and the others not to bother me for a few days....
PAUL:  So you really want to go through with this?
KEI:  Yes, I've decided.
PAUL: I love you.
	[Kei does not answer.  She stares into space.]
KEI:  Please tell them, okay?
PAUL:  I will.  [Gets up, collects his things and leaves.]
Act Three
(Tuesday)

	Morning in Kei's apartment.  She wakes as the streaming 
light comes in through the naked windows.  Alone in her large king 
size bed we see her moving, turning over, trying to postpone the 
inevitable.  As the clock ticks on, a raising tension is formed.  
Kei finally gets up and out of bed.  She is clothed in a white 
negligee.  Her hair is tousled.  She is in disarray; lost in her 
"shit hole" of an apartment.
	Kei wobbles over to the kitchen and reluctantly she pours 
herself a tall glass of gin, ice, and milk.  She returns to the 
bedroom/living-room and places herself on the bed in front of a gray 
television screen.  She turns it on with the remote and moves 
through the channels senselessly.  The French stations are blaring 
back at her as she focuses, unblinkingly, at a point far behind the 
screen, unconsciously sipping her concoction.
	(Fade out, cut to next scene.  It is afternoon.)
	Afternoon, Kei is entering through the front door.  She 
slams the door behind her and goes over to the desk to empty her 
pockets.  She just went shopping and a descent amount of grass, 
hash, papers, and Drum tobacco are spread out before her eyes on the 
desk.  In her other hand she is carrying a white plastic bag with a 
bottle of gin in it.  She takes the bottle to the kitchen and 
returns to her desk.  Preparation is about to begin.  She puts on an 
interesting CD to fill the room with noisy silence and 
begins to work diligently.
	She prepares eighteen joints of various combinations lining 
them up in a small wooden pine box.  She goes to the pink bathroom 
and starts to draw a hot, hot bath.  The sound of rushing water 
mingles with the music in the room.  She returns and goes into the 
kitchen.  Searching through the cupboards, Kei finds a can of tuna 
she wants to eat.  Sieving through the drawers she finds a can 
opener and begins to open the can.  Her finger slips and she cuts 
the tip of her right index finger.  The blood starts t
o run down her finger and collects in the nail.  The deep gash keeps 
on pouring out blood into the nail.  Kei is fascinated by the blood 
drip, drip, dripping from her finger.  She snaps out of the trance 
and walks back to the desk.  She looks through her many drawings and 
pulls two of them out and lays them on the desk.  Then, with her 
finger poised as a pen she marks some words like a Japanese 
calligrapher would trace his characters on rice paper.  (I forget 
the words, but I'll find out.)
	She picks the wooden pine box up and goes into the kitchen 
to grab the gin and a glass.  Kei takes everything to the pink 
bathroom.  By now, the tub is full and she turns the water off.  She 
undresses and steps cautiously into the bubble covered inferno.  The 
blood strays the foam leaving a mark.  She lights up a joint and 
pours a drink.  Kei lies back inhaling and drinking, lost in the 
sweetness of her situation.  Time passes and her body is slowly 
taking in the smoke and alcohol as the only nutrients 
feeding her soul.  The heat from the water speeds her heart rate 
delivering those nutrients to every corner of her innards at a 
higher and higher pace.  
	Time presses on.  More of the joints are smoked, more of the 
gin is drank, more of the strength is dissipated.  Her inner being 
emerges in a fetal form:  her weak, unprotected being is like anew, 
like a child raising from her depths.  With every minute that ebbs 
away at her life, she is coming alive with the innocence and purity 
due an infant.
	Still clutching lovingly at one of her joints, her arm slips 
into the water as her eyes close and she falls asleep; her body's 
strength evaporating with every breath.  There is a loud, persistent 
knock at the front door.  No one ever answers it.

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