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Back Archive-name: Miscell/pure-rk.100Archive-author: Texas A notall that appears dead is dead; not
all scents can be removed by normalmeans (ie, soap and water); not many of those who are weak of
heart orstomach can truly enjoy roadkill games, and attempt to do so at theirown risk of
O'spurt-ing; not all roadkill is suitable for all thingscontained herein, and discretion must be
used in what one attempts todo with a given piece of roadkill; not many states have
lawsspecifically banning roadkill games, but most judges and juries willnot think twice about
locking up and throwing away the key on anyonewho can be shown to have participated in roadkill
games; roadkill cancarry odd diseases; odd diseases can be passed between two or morepeople
engaging in roadkill games with the same piece of roadkill; notall roadkill can be trusted when it
says "I have it covered"; not allroadkill is natural, some roadkill is manufactured and placed on
theroad for tourist's viewing pleasure by local governments (case inpoint: the number of armadillos
one can see as roadkill on any givenday in Texas far exceeds any estimations of the living
population onthe previous day); not all roadkill is suitable for consumption; notall roadkill will
go with "basic black" pumps; not all people considerroadkill a topic for polite conversation; not
all parties can belivened up by bringing along your own roadkill; not many peopleconsider roadkill
an appropriate housewarming gift; not all roadkillenjoys being roadkill; not all universities have
roadkillorganizations that can tell you where the really good roadkill is andthat can inform you of
local laws and customs in the area of roadkill(start your own, today!); not many hunting magazines
consider roadkilleligible for "best kill" competitions; not many people read all ofthese
conditions, but all are held to have if they read later portionsof the test, and therefore the
authors are not libel in any way,shape, or form for anything that happens to a reader because of
havingread the Omnisex, Roadkill Purity Test, unless of course somethingGOOD happens to the reader,
in which case we demand 40% off top--contact the law firm of Grinch, Evil-anti-Grinch and Assoc.,
CollegeStation, TX, 77840, for payment
instructions.______________The
Roadkill Purity Test is a blatant plagiarism of the original Purity Test, and therefore we shall
list its history as the history of this test.Original Style Purity Test Genesis/History: Version 1
(100) Created at MIT-1@aker House. Two parallel versions; one for male, and one for female. Not
much is known about this version. It was ported to CMU by ps in 1982.Version 2 (247) Spring 1983 -
CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al. Expanded to 247 questions. This marked the beginning of the
unisex versions. The story goes that they intended it to be 250 questions, but got tired that night
and said "we'll think of three more tomorrow", and tomorrow never got there.Version 3.3C.1 (400) on
05-Dec-1984 First formal release general of this test, version 3.xx. All former versions were
short-lived and tended to be bug-ridden. Does not discriminate against gays or bi's. Added
Genesis/History section.Version 3.4 (400) on 29-Jan-1985 Internal version; never released. Source
code accidentally destroyed, much to the consternation of one of the authors. Cleaned up many bugs.
Added sections: Disclaimer of Liability, Instructions for Use, Scoring, and Warranty
Information.Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985 Rebuilt from the 3.3C.1 source and the 3.4 (only
surviving copy) Xerox X9700 laser printer hardcopy. Cleaned up same bugs in 3.4. Added in verbose
history section.Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985: CMU/dausesa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al Found
that we had 431 questions instead of 400.Version 3.5B (400) on 18-Mar-1986: Yale (Pierson College)/
as Intermediate release, with footnotes integrated into main body of text and some grammatical
errors cleaned up. Begun in Fall, 1985; finished in April for the benefit of a friend at MIT (where
it all began), who hadn't seen any versions except the antique Version 1.Version 3.5C (400) on
17-Jan-1988: Yale (Pierson College)/mmd (CLARINET@YALEVM) Grammatical errors corrected.
Introduction and history cleaned up.Version 4.0 (500) on 23-April-1988: Yale (Silliman
College)/dfc, ad, dcg, mlm, and Dartmouth (Alpha Theta)/alb. Original 400-question version expanded
to 500 questions.Roadkill 1.0 (232) on 31-April-1990: Texas A however, we feel that the funniest
way to utilize thistest is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one copy of thetest, and a
bunch of friends. (We find that writing implements andpaper are usually useful too.) The person
with the copy of the testis the test administrator; she/he/it reads the questions out loud
andeverybody else writes down their answers. We have no definite rulesas to whether the
participants are required to divulge their answers;that is up to the group to decide. However, each
person's purityscore should be made common knowledge. (The person with the lowestscore gets to be
avoided at all cost by all sane people at the party.)This works great at parties and lets everybody
have a good laugh, andknow who to avoid as potentially being Charles Mason incognito. Weadvise that
whoever is administering the test have the number of alocal 24-hour mental health facility handy
for those that scoreparticularly low on this test. Don't leave home without it (this testor the
number). Definitions----------- All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to
yousubsequent to your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that mayhave happened before that time
is considered not standing and void. We should define exactly what is considered roadkill. Human
corpsesare never considered roadkill; they are covered in the necrophiliasection of the original
style Purity Test. Roadkill is anything thatcould have once been considered alive, but which has
been killed on ahighway, farm-to-market road, city street, or any similar set path formotorized
vehicles to travel on, by one of those said motorizedvehicle. Motorized vehicle includes all cars
and sizes of trucks, allmotorcycles, mopeds (not that these make much roadkill) and anythingelse
that gets you around while letting fat collect on your butt andcholesterol clog your veins.What
constitutes a "particularly good" piece of roadkill can not bestrictly defined, and the parties
involved in taking the test need todecided among themselves what criteria should be followed in
judgingroadkill. The authors would like to suggest that visual aspects areusually the most
important factor in judging roadkill, and neatness isusually a strike, not a bonus. However, scent
can not be ignored(especially with skunk-roadkill, or particularly aged roadkill) andshould figure
into the judging in some manner. Beyond that partiesshould decided on their own if size is a factor
(ie, aren't somethingstoo big not to have been hit on purpose?), or is being able to tellthe make
of the tire that "did the deed" from the markings on theroadkill a bonus or not.We should like to
point out that unlike the original version of thePurity Test, you should be very concerned with the
score you get onthis test. The lower the score you get, the more we would like toadvise that you
seek professional mental help. (See administrator oftest) --- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT
---______________Section 1: Some
Ethical Questions 16 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 1. administered a whole
Roadkill Purity Test or are in the process of administering a whole Roadkill Purity Test of any
version? (That's where you are the test administrator in a Purity Test Party. See "Instructions for
Use" for further information.) 2. taken the Roadkill Purity Tests of any versions more than 5
times? 3. lied on any previous Roadkill Purity Tests? 4. exaggerated about any roadkill
experiences? 5. discussed roadkill and/or any related subjects in mixed company? 6. thought you
might have unintentionally created roadkill? 7. mistaken roadkill for a speedbump? 8. lied about
having made roadkill? 9. thought roadkill was merely and old brown-paper bag and therefore aimed
for it, only to discover your mistake when you got home and tried to clean off that "ketchup"? 10.
have you ever gotten roadkill hooked to your vehicle and known it, but not stopped, rationalizing,
"It'll fall off eventually anyway." 11. created unwanted roadkill? (all roadkill deserve a loving
home-- adopt some, today!) 12. Created roadkill while you were under the legal age for driving the
type of vehicle you were driving in the state in which you were doing so? 13. created sympathy
roadkill? ("Ol' Rover just ain't as happy as he used to be...." *vroom* *b-bump*) 14. given or
received roadkill as payment for services? 15. gone to (or escorted someone to) a Roadkillers
Anonymous meeting? (Authors do not endorse such groups because they're party poopers.) 16. been
arrested for roadkill games? (Authors deny any
liability)____________Section 2:
Drugs and Roadkill. 22 Questions.Have you ever done any of the following: 17. played roadkill games
while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? (what other way is there?) 18. taken the Roadkill
Purity test while under the influence of drugs or alcohol? (How many of you are getting *this*
one?) 19. used drugs or alcohol to lower someone else's inhibitions about roadkill? 20. used drugs
or alcohol to lower you own inhibitions about roadkill? 22. hidden drugs in roadkill? 23. used said
drugs a few days later? 24. found drugs in roadkill by accident? 25. used said drugs anyway? 26.
been so doped up you mistook roadkill for a live animal? 27. drug said roadkill around by a leash
saying, "Gotta take Rover for a walk"? 28. attempted to teach said roadkill tricks? 29. attempted
to feed said roadkill? 30. been disturbed by said roadkill's behavior, so taken it to the vet, only
to be treated yourself? 31. ground up old, dry roadkill and tried to smoke it? 32. succeeded? 33.
actually gotten a buzz from it? 34. made money by selling ground-up roadkill as drugs? 35. had
customers come back for more? 36. been so doped up that you mistaken a live animal for roadkill and
tried to play roadkill games with it? 37. almost gotten your arm chewed off when you tried to hide
drugs in said live animal? 38. created roadkill by hiding drugs in said live
animal?______________Section 3:
Sex and Roadkill / Roadkill and Sex 13 Questions.FYI: sex with roadkill is defined as using
roadkill in some manner to physically stimulate your genitals until climax (for you-- the roadkill
can't climax, it's dead).Have you done any of the following: 39. had an arousing dream about
roadkill? (Wet dreams and the like.) 40. had to fantasize about roadkill during sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation in order to be able to climax? 41. had to describe roadkill to a partner during
sex, or mutual masturbation, in order to get he/she to climax? 42. had to describe roadkill to a
partner during sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation, in order to get you to climax? 43. met
someone and had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation, with them while out judging roadkill? 44.
met someone and had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation, with them while out collecting roadkill?
45. met someone and had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation, with them while out checking
roadkill for stashed drugs? 46. used roadkill in some fashion to get sex? (Rover was *sob* hit by a
car last week...) 47. claimed domestic pet roadkill as your own to try and get "sympathy sex" out
of someone? 48. ever had it work? 49. told someone that you too love roadkill strictly because you
wanted to have sex with them? 50. forced or coerced someone into having intimate physical relations
with roadkill? 51. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation where roadkill was merely involved as an
inanimate
object?______________Section 4:
Roadkill as a Sex Object. 39 Questions.Have you ever done any of the following: 52. stroked or
fondled roadkill? 53. kissed roadkill on the lips? 54. kissed roadkill elsewhere? 55. French kissed
roadkill on the lips? 56. French kissed roadkill elsewhere? 57. had an orgasm because of roadkill
in some way, shape or form? 58. had sex with roadkill? (one on one) 59. had sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation with more than 10 separate and different pieces of roadkill? (two pieces of the
same kill count only once total) 60. had sex with roadkill which you never saw? (Authors in no way
condone hazing) 61. attempted to have sex with roadkill which you, in a doped up haze, mistook for
a live animal and succeeded? 62. gone back for more? 63. gone back for more AFTER you sobered up?
64. attempted to have sex with a live animal which you, in a doped up haze, mistook for roadkill
and been *seriously* injured? 65. turned down sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with a person
to go have sex with roadkill? 66. turned down sex with a live animal to go have sex with roadkill?
67. had sex with roadkill using an appenditure/orifice that nature did not intend to be there? 68.
caught odd disease through having sex with roadkill? 69. had anal sex with roadkill? (an orifice
nature did intend to be there) 70. brought roadkill to a party and passed it around in a
spin-the-bottle like game, where the *winner* gets to have sex with the roadkill? 71. enjoyed sex
with some particular piece of roadkill so much that you brought it home and attempted to preserve
it for later use? 72. used it later? 73. used it later even though your attempts at preservation
were not working? 74. presently have some roadkill waiting for you at home right now? 75. planned
to just "pick some up" on the way home tonight? 76. had sex with roadkill in a place where you
could be seen by others? 77. had sex with roadkill in a place where you could be seen by others on
purpose? 78. had sex with roadkill in a place where you could be seen by others on purpose, and
*made*sure* someone saw? 79. had sex with roadkill in front of your significant other in an attempt
to arouse them? 80. made video tapes of yourself having sex with roadkill to show, and hopefully,
arouse your significant other? 81. had said video tapes get into the "wrong hands"? 82. rented a
roadkill porno flick and discovered yourself or your significant other playing the star role? 83.
rented a roadkill porno flick and discovered your missing pet playing the non-living star role? 84.
had sex with roadkill as part of an act which you got paid for? 85. been paid extra to go to a
fan's home and repeat the performance with said fan's own favorite piece of roadkill? 86.
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been
presently fantasizing about have sex with roadkill right now? 87. been enjoying it? 88. would you
like to take a break to fulfill these fantasies then finish the test later? 89. Did you take a
break to fulfill your fantasies? 90. Did you lower your score by taking this
break?_____________Section 5:
Roadkill and Sex Part II: Locality. 36 questions. This section tries to figure out how many places
you have had sex with roadkill in. Have you ever had sex with roadkill in any of the following
places: 91. a place of religion? (Church, temple, altar, Grand Holy Cabbage Head Patch, etc.) 92. a
place of the dead? (Morgue, mortuary, cemetery, etc.) 93. a contraption of the dead? (Coffin,
hearse, body bag, etc.) 94. in/on a construction site (house, office, launch platform, etc.)? 95.
in a moderately sized, land/road-based vehicle of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight?
(car, station wagon, van, minivan, minibus, etc.) 96. in a moderately sized, land/road-based
vehicle of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight, that was used to create the roadkill?
97. in a moderately sized, land/road-based vehicle of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross
weight, while trying to make MORE roadkill? 98. in a land/road-based vehicle of MORE THAN 30,000
pounds net unladen gross weight? (truck, tank, armored car, steam-roller, crane, bulldozer, garbage
truck, etc.) 99. in a land/road-based vehicle of MORE THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight,
that was used to create the roadkill? 100. in a land/road-based vehicle of MORE THAN 30,000 pounds
net unladen gross weight, while trying to make MORE roadkill? 101. in a land-based, non road
dependent vehicle? (Train, subway, roller- coaster, monorail, Disneyland ride, etc.) 102. in a
water based, manual powered vehicular transport medium? (Rowboat, surfboard, floating bathtub,
etc.) (For this question it only counts if the thing was in the water at the time.) 103. in a water
based, wind or propeller driven transport medium LESS THAN 80 feet in length? (Yacht, PT boat,
windsurfer, Sunfish, etc.) (in this case, seakill can be considered roadkill, ie, dolphins, sea
turtles, etc) 104. in a water based, wind or propeller driven transport medium MORE THAN 80 feet in
length? (Cruise ship, battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear submarine?, etc.)(once again, seakill
can be considered roadkill, ie, dolphins, sea turtles, etc) 105. in an aircraft? (Airplane,
helicopter, hovercraft, balloon, zeppelin, space shuttle, flying carpet, flying saucer, etc.) 106.
in a household room other than a bedroom? 107. on the floor (but not the roof)? 108. on the roof
(but not the floor)? 109. on any furniture that is indoors but is not a bed, table, desk, counter-
top, a nor anything that is predominantly used for sitting or as a table/desk? (Television,
washer/dryer, microwave, etc.)_ 110. in a telephone booth, voting booth, automatic photograph
taker, or any such small, non-moving enclosure that was not designed for such activities? 111. in
an elevator, people-mover, escalator, dumbwaiter, or any building- internal people moving device?
112. up a tree but not in a tree house or similar structure? 113. up a tree and in a tree house or
similar structure? 114. in a suspension device of some kind (hammock, trampoline, tightrope, safety
net, etc.)? 115. on the roof of a building in excess of 5 floors? 116. inside or within the
confines of a hedge, bush, other natural vegetation which can provide a wall effect, cave, rock
overhang, well, or any other secluded, outdoor, non-vegetative shielding structure? 117. in the
snow? 118. in the spring thaw with same roadkill, that winter had so considerately preserved? 119.
in a place where the prevailing, ambient temperature (of the air immediately surrounding you) was
below the freezing point of water? 120. in a place where the prevailing, ambient temperature was
below the freezing point of water, because you wanted the roadkill to last as long as possible?
121. in a place where you could have been discovered? 122. in a water-filled bathtub, hot tub, or
under a shower or other running water (waterfall, torrential downpour, monsoon, etc.)? 123. in a
body of water? (swimming pool, swimming hole, pond, lake, lagoon, sea, ocean, etc.) (seakill
counts) 124. on the beach (and the resultant sand in uncomfortable places)? 125. in a bathroom of
the opposite sex? 126. gone to a motel (however sleazy) for the sole purpose of having sex with
roadkill?_______Section 5:
Roadkill Hobbies 27 questions. A roadkill hobby is anything that is not adventurous enough to
qualifyas a roadkill game, but which some people do for pleasure anyway. 127. collected roadkill?
128. used roadkill as fertilizer? 129. kept a written record of roadkill you have seen? 130. kept a
written record/judging on every piece of roadkill you have seen? 131. kept a written record/judging
of roadkill you have created? 132. written a Roadkill Purity Test? 133. watched a television
special on roadkill? 134. taped said special to watch again? 135. watched said special with your
significant other? 136. moved roadkill around to increase esthetic effect? 137. backed up to get
another look at a "particularly good" piece of roadkill? 138. gone home, found a friend or lover,
and brought them back to see said "particularly good" piece of road kill? 139. had him/her bring a
camera with black and white film? 140. had him/her bring a camera with color film? 141. had him/her
bring a video-recorder? 142. had him/her hire a professional film crew and use 80mm color film it
was so good? 143. reminisced about the "good ol' days" of roadkill? 144. gotten into an argument
over which section of the country has the best roadkill? 145. had a competition to find out? 146.
been a judge? 147. won? 148. stated in your will that a part of your estate should go to the
creation (or continued existence) of a roadkill promotion organization at your alma mater? 149.
erected a memorial at the sight of a bit of "particularly good" roadkill? 150. visited others
memorials? 151. come to tears because you weren't there to see that bit of "particularly good"
roadkill yourself? 152. laid flattened rodentia/amphibia at the base of said memorial? 153.
designed, printed, and distributed a map showing all such memorials in your area or
state?____________Section 6
Roadkill Games. 78 questionsThe section you've all been waiting for. Roadkill games are similar to
roadkill hobbies but much more adventurous. Most people begin with roadkill hobbies, then move on
to roadkill games, then, as the years pass by and the joints stiffen, return to roadkill hobbies.
If you answer "yes" to ANY question in this section, you're hooked-- you will be a roadkill fan for
the rest of your lonely, lonely life.Have you ever: 154. cooked and eaten roadkill? 155. eaten
roadkill raw? 156. quenched your thirst with whatever you could squeeze out of roadkill? 157. made
roadkill margaritas? 158. used roadkill as bait? 159. used roadkill to feed your pets? 160. fed
roadkill to someone else and lied about where you got the meat? 161. told them the truth when they
were done? 162. refused to clean up the mess when they didn't make it to the toilet? 163. told
someone you had fed them roadkill when you hadn't? 164. refused to clean up the mess when they
didn't make it to the toilet? 165. sent a roadkill recipe into a cooking contest? 166. won said
contest? 167. made chocolate-covered roadkill? (just like Ma used to make) 168. ordered a roadkill
dish at a restaurant? 169. ordered a roadkill dish FROM THE MENU at a restaurant? 170. complimented
the chef on said dish? 171. called for pizza and asked for roadkill as one of your toppings? 172.
sent said pizza back claiming roadkill wasn't fresh? 173. bought bottled roadkill juices? 174.
marketed any roadkill products for human consumption? 175. gotten rich from it? (authors demand a
cut of profits-- see prologue) 176. practiced for your biology lab on roadkill? 177. sold roadkill
to high schools for use in biology labs? 178. been required to bring in roadkill for your biology
lab? 179. dissected roadkill for the fun of it with a few friends? 180. dissected roadkill for the
fun of it with a few friends, while SOBER? 181. dissected two or more pieces of roadkill of
different species and then created new and wonderful species with the parts? (all respects to Gary
Larson-- but no money) 182. attempted to transplant parts from roadkill to live animals? 183.
succeeded? 184. attempted to transplant parts from roadkill to live humans? 185. succeeded? 186.
gotten national press coverage for it? 187. sold the rights to the mini-series of it? (authors want
their cut-- see prologue) 188. dissected roadkill and saved just your "favorite parts"? (see
roadkill and sex) 189. made and sold lucky rabbit's feet from roadkill, not all of it rabbits? 190.
made and sold lucky armadillo's feet from roadkill, not all of it natural? 191. used parts of
roadkill to repair your vehicle on a lonely highway? (authors find that ligaments make great
fanbelts) 192. used roadkill as decoration on your car? (bucks on the fender count, but only if
it's actually roadkill) 193. purposely attached roadkill to your bumper and drove around scaring
old women? 194. purposely attached old women to your bumper and drove around scaring roadkill? 195.
used roadkill as part of a Mob (organized crime) "warning"? 196. wrapped up a piece of roadkill as
a present and sent it to a former lover? 197. signed said present with his/her present lover's
name? 198. taken home roadkill to show it to your mother? 199. taken home roadkill to show it to
your lover? 200. been complimented on it by either? 201. hidden a speaker in a piece of roadkill
and had it make noises if anyone approached? (bark, meow, etc) 202. secreted electronics in a
"particularly good" piece of roadkill so as to be able to make it move as if of its own volition?
203. used roadkill as a hand puppet? (yes, actually INSERTING your hand and...) 204. used roadkill
as equipment in an organized sport? (Cat sailing, Armadillo football, "the cat's second base", etc)
205. taken a photo of domestic pet roadkill and made up posters with the photo saying "Found:
please call..." 206. returned domestic pet roadkill to its former owner? 207. returned domestic pet
roadkill to its former owner and demanded the reward? 208. taken roadkill to a vet just to watch
him/her squirm as they try to explain to you that it's already dead? 209. sold roadkill to a child
for a pet, claiming "it's just sleeping..."? 210. purposely thrown your pets favorite toy into the
street in hopes it would become roadkill? 211. thrown your pets favorite toy into the street,
hopped in your car and...? 212. done the above so you could have sex with your unwilling pet as
roadkill? 213. constructed art from roadkill? 214. had fans bring you roadkill so that you could
make it into art for them? 215. received federal grants to support your production of roadkill art?
216. gone to a costume party as roadkill? 217. held a "come as your favorite piece of roadkill"
party? 218. won the costume judging contest because you used an actual piece of roadkill to
construct your costume? 219. had a roadkill fight? (similar to food-fight, but...) 220. moved
roadkill so that it was in the line of tires of oncoming vehicles? 221. taken bets on how far a
piece of roadkill will get knocked by a vehicle? 222. fixed said bets by nailing roadkill down?
223. constructed fake roadkill out of an old pillow and turkey gizzards just to see how many people
would bother trying to avoid it? 224. ever swerved to purposely hit roadkill? 225. ever swerve to
purposely MAKE NEW roadkill? 226. constructed clothing from the hides/pelts of roadkill? 227. sold
said clothing? 228. won awards for said clothing? 229. been harassed by animal rights activist for
wearing said clothing? 230. constructed clothing from animal rights activist? 231. sent a picture
of a "particularly good" piece of roadkill to Late Night with David Letterman in the hopes that
Dave would call you an "incredible sicko" on national television? 232. repeatedly done the above
with the same
roadkill?____________I.
ScoringCongratulations! You are now the proud owner of a sheet of papercontaining lots of
itty-bitty answers to the Roadkill Purity Test.Sworn to excellence of workmanship, we now give you
directions on howto calculate your Roadkill Purity score. There are several methods;the calculator
method works best. Also good is the a la mainframemethod. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.)
Scoring method: Count "yes" answers. Subtract that number from 232. Divide the result by 232.
Multiply the result by 100. The result is your percentage purity. The higher the number, the more
pure you are; in the same vein, the lower thescore, the more of a sick puppy you are. For your
reference, we include calculator directions: For people with real calculators (HP): [ENTER] 232 /
100 * For people with other (dinky) calculators: / 232 = X 100
=______________II. Warranty
InformationWe hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with awarranty, nor does it
guarantee that it will get you your own roadkillor make you somehow somewhat better with roadkill,
the making ofroadkill, or the lamination of roadkill.The makers of this test are not responsible
for any liabilities ordamages resulting from this test, including but not limited to
mentalderangement suits. Ask your doctor or psychologist.Do not dissect roadkill test; no user
serviceable parts inside, butthe roadkill might have a few.Propagate this test and roadkill at
will, even without the writtenpermission of the publisher or the owner; just don't edit, change,
orwaste it. In reproducing this test, the authors of this test mayexercise droit de seigneur over
you, your immediate family, fiance, orpet. You may or may not have additional rights which may vary
fromstate to state. Not recommended for children under twelve, or petsover 400 pounds. Parental
guidance discouraged. Pencils, additionalpaper, batteries, and the Beginner Roadkill Set (available
throughGrinchCo, College Station, TX, 77840) not included. Some assembly orpreservation may be
required. Does not come with any other
figures._____________Drive
carefully; roadkill missed is roadkill wasted. The above is a public service announcement of this
institution,
andForumDammit.______________Back
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