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Back Archive-name: Miscell/pure-500.400Archive-author: Archive-title: Purity Test - 500 Question
THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL P U R I T Y T E S T
______________ Version 4.0 (500)
Final Release 23-Apr-1988
______________ Public domain; no
copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with going down. The risen flesh commands:
let there be love. Murphy's law on sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
Chaste makes waste. Virginity can be cured. This document was not sponsored by the Department of
Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics
Laboratory. The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted as
representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the Defense Advanced Projects
Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be interpreted nor inferred that the
authors/contributors have actually performed any of the actions contained herein.
______________ Disclaimer of
Liability The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person must
copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners' conditions vary constantly
and are greatly affected by weather changes and previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in
terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed
obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users and
customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and
sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to those not
copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at
any time, even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent risks are part
of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the
facilities of your partner, the user of this test agrees to copulate in control and within the
limits of his/her ability, and further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks
and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result from use
of the partner's facilities. As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of
your partner, the customer understands and agrees that: (1) in the event of a transfer of use by
another or anything else in the management's opinion is misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or
nuisance, this service may be revoked without refund; (2) the partner is the property of the harem
and, upon request, s/he must be presented to any authorized representative of the pimp/spouse; (3)
sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when you are in any bedroom and when
approaching the bed to copulate. Your sexual partner is not transferable; see Theft of Services,
V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582.
______________ Purity Test
Genesis/History: Version 1 (100) Created at MIT's Baker House. Two parallel versions; one for male,
and one for female. Not much is known about this version. It was ported to CMU by ps in 1982.
Version 2 (247) Spring 1983 - CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al. Expanded to 247 questions. This
marked the beginning of the unisex versions. The story goes that they intended it to be 250
questions, but got tired that night and said "we'll think of three more tomorrow", and tomorrow
never got there. Version 3.3C.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984 First formal release general of this test,
version 3.xx. All former versions were short-lived and tended to be bug-ridden. Does not
discriminate against gays or bi's. Good correspondence of scores (especially in the higher score
ranges) between this version and version 2. Added Genesis/History section. Version 3.4 (400) on
29-Jan-1985 Internal version; never released. Source code accidentally destroyed, much to the
consternation of one of the authors. Cleaned up many bugs. Added sections: Disclaimer of Liability,
Instructions for Use, Scoring, and Warranty Information. Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985 Rebuilt
from the 3.3C.1 source and the 3.4 (only surviving copy) Xerox X9700 laser printer hardcopy.
Cleaned up same bugs in 3.4; wiped out a duplicate question. Added in verbose history section.
Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985: CMU/da, fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al Found that we had 431
questions instead of 400. Version 3.5B (400) on 18-Mar-1986: Yale (Pierson College)/ as
Intermediate release, with footnotes integrated into main body of text and some grammatical errors
cleaned up. Begun in Fall, 1985; finished in April for the benefit of a friend at MIT (where it all
began), who hadn't seen any versions except the antique Version 1. Version 3.5C (400) on
17-Jan-1988: Yale (Pierson College)/mmd (CLARINET@YALEVM) Grammatical errors corrected.
Introduction and history cleaned up. Version 4.0 (500) on 23-April-1988: Yale (Silliman
College)/dfc, ad, dcg, mlm, and Dartmouth (Alpha Theta)/alb. Original 400-question version expanded
to 500 questions. ______________
Instructions for Use: This is a fairly long test consisting of five hundred questions. It starts
out tame and gets progressively worse (or better, depending on your viewpoint). There are many ways
of going about taking this test. You can, of course, as your right, guaranteed by the Constitution,
be anti-social and sequester yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself; however, we
feel that the funnest way to utilize this test is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one
copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing implements and paper would be useful
too.) The person with the copy of the test is the test administrator; s/he readsd the questions out
loud and everybody else writes down their answers. We have no definite rules as to whether the
participants are required to divulge their answers; that is up to the group to decide. However,
each person's purity score should be made common knowledge. (The person with the highest score gets
to be giggled at for the rest of his/her life.) This works great at parties and lets everybody know
who's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave home without it.
Definitions All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you subsequent to
your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that may have happened before that time is considered
not standing and void. The term mutual masturbation refers to someone masturbating you AND/OR you
masturbating someone else, not exclusively both at the same time. We would also like to define
having sex in the homosexual case; homosexual sex has occurred when both partners are of the same
sex and one of the partners has an orgasm while there is some contact between the genitals of both
partners. We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor failing score.
Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting a high score... even if you do get
giggled at for the rest of your life. --- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT ---
______________ Section 1: Platonic
Relations. 19 Questions. For this section, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner
in deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or "partner", is to be someone of the OPPOSITE
gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or
"partner", is to be someone of YOUR OWN gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in
deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or "partner", is to be someone of the OPPOSITE
gender. Have you ever done any of the following: 1. kissed a friend or stranger on their hands or
their head/neck region as a friendly gesture? 2. held hands with someone? 3. had a date? 4. had a
date past 1 a.m.? 5. dated someone on a regular basis? 6. picked someone up? 7. been picked up? 8.
gone steady? 9. slow danced? 10. had the symptoms of Russian fingers (rushin' fingers)? 11. had the
symptoms of Roman hands (roamin' hands)? 12. shared a bed, sleeping bag, or sleeping accommodations
with someone without anything steamy happening? 13. given a back or neck rub or massage with no
ulterior motive? 14. used tickling as a pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? 15. directly asked
someone whom you were not going out with and had never gone out with if they were a virgin? 16.
used physical strength, physical power, or any physical prowess, or prowesslessness as a factor in
pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? 17. secretly lusted after someone without that person
knowing? 18. dropped subtle hints to someone whom you liked/loved/wanted, hoping that they would
pick up on it? 19. written anonymous "love letters" to someone (secret admirer, etc. That is,
dropped some not-so-subtle hints).
______________ Section 2:
Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism. 51 Questions. Although this section is termed Auto-erotica and
mono-sexualism, the events herein still count even if you are with someone else at the time. It was
so named because these activities, like the harp, (and the porcelain goddess) are predominantly
solo events. Have you ever done the following: 20. had an arousing dream? (Wet dreams and the
like.) 21. been sexually aroused? 22. uttered/muttered/yelled/screamed (or in other words verbally
expressed) obscenities? 23. fantasized about your long-term instructor, mentor, or someone who is
superior to you? (One day skydiving teachers, two hour ski instructors, and the like do not count.)
24. fantasized about your lawyer, doctor, nurse, psychiatrist or someone with whom you are having a
professional relationship? 25. fantasized about someone you know personally but not closely? 26.
fantasized about anyone and masturbated at the same time? 27. read or bought pornographic
periodicals? 28. ever had a subscription to pornographic periodicals? 29. read sexually explicit
literature? 30. gone skinny dipping alone? 31. made obscene phone calls? 32. phoned up any recorded
phone sex numbers? (e.g. (212)976-2626, (212)976-2727, (212)976-2828, etc. Please note that these
are fifty cent calls in addition to toll charges and long distance charges.) 33. phoned up any live
phone sex numbers? 34. stuffed your bra if you are female, or stuffed your pants if you are male?
35. shaved your genital pubic hair? 36. shaved your genital pubic hair on a fairly regular basis?
37. colored or bleached your genital pubic hair? 38. shaved or shaped your genital pubic hair in a
particular design? (moons, hearts, diamonds, clovers, etc.) 39. masturbated? 40. masturbated at
least five times in one twenty-four hour period? 41. masturbated on a fairly regular basis of no
less than once a fortnight? 42. masturbated where you could have been discovered? (In a crowd, in
public, city parks, gym/dorm/barrack showers, movie theater, etc.) 43. masturbated out in the wilds
or in nature with no nearby civilization? 44. masturbated to orgasm? 45. masturbated while reading
either pornographic or sexually explicit materials? 46. masturbated while driving a *moving* land
vehicle? (Car, RV, truck, motorcycle, hearse, etc.) 47. masturbated while on the phone? (No kinky
interpretations of "on the phone". This is legit.) 48. masturbated while in a bathroom of the
opposite sex? 49. masturbated while watching an R or X-rated show? 50. seen any burlesque show?
(Rocky Horror counts) 51. been to a peep show? 52. been to a private showing of a pornographic
movie? 53. seen a pornographic movie in a theater? 54. walked around in your
room/apartment/house/habitation in the nude? (Must be a serious walk; five minutes of going around
trying to find your undies after a shower doesn't count.) 55. walked around in a public or
semi-public area with a top (shirt, T-shirt, etc) but no bottoms (pants, shorts, etc)? (Dorm
hallways, lobby areas, etc. are acceptable; however locker rooms, bathrooms and such places where
this behavior is acceptable do not count.) 56. bought blatant sexual objects? (This means that if
you buy a bottle of Coke and you use it as a dildo, it doesn't count. Think design and function.)
57. owned any erotic art pieces? (Like that phallic symbol in the cat woman scene in "A Clockwork
Orange.") 58. written down your own stories or fantasies for masturbatory purposes? (Your own
custom-made Penthouse Forum [tm]) 59. sculpted erotic/obscene artworks in food (bananas, carrots,
apples...)? 60. eaten any erotic food items? (Chocolate tits, banana dicks, etc.) 61. sculpted
erotic/obscene artworks in soap, wood, or any other carvable material that isn't food? 62. made an
X- or R-rated snowman or snowwoman? 63. tasted your own orgasmic liquids? 64. inserted your finger
into your rectum? 65. used ben-wa balls or anal beads? (ben-wa balls: a pair of small, usually
metal, balls which are placed in the vagina or anus and are supposed to feel good as they move
around. Anal beads: a string of beads inserted into the anus which is supposed to feel good as it
is pulled out.) 66. performed oral sex on yourself? (Yes, this is possible for most males, and even
for some females.) 67. willingly urinated on the garments that you were wearing at the time? (In
other words: piss in your pants; wet yourself; had an accident.) 68. willingly urinated on any part
of your body? 69. willingly defecated on the garments that you were wearing at the time? (In other
words: shit in your pants; had a serious accident.) 70. willingly defecated on yourself?
______________ Section 3:
Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Matters. 61 Questions. Have you ever done any of the
following: 71. administered a whole Purity Test or are in the process of administering a whole
Purity Test of any version? (That's where you are the test administrator in a Purity Test Party.
See "Instructions for Use" for further information.) 72. taken Purity Tests of any versions more
than 5 times? 73. lied on any previous Purity Tests? 74. exaggerated about any sexual experiences?
75. gone to (or escorted someone to) a Planned Parenthood Clinic? (for an exam, to obtain birth
control pills, diaphragm, etc.) 76. broken your word, promise, or vow? 77. lied to someone at
someone else's request? 78. lied about your sexual preference in order to avoid a date? 79. written
graffitti? 80. plagiarized? 81. shoplifted? 82. stolen? 83. made out a check that bounced? 84. used
someone else's credit card without their knowledge and/or consent? 85. committed breaking and
entering? 86. seen a snuff film? 87. read someone else's diary without their knowledge and/or
consent? 88. searched someone's room without their knowledge and/or consent? 89. told someone that
you loved them when you did not? 90. told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted
to have sex with them? 91. fantasized about someone else other than your partner while you were
engaged in sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 92. intentionally listened in on other people
having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation without their knowing it? 93. used alcohol to lower
someone else's inhibitions for the purpose of sex or oral sex? 94. used drugs to lower someone
else's inhibitions for the purpose of sex or oral sex? 95. drugged someone without their knowledge
and/or consent? (hash brownies and the like.) 96. forced or coerced someone into having intimate
physical relations with you? 97. had dates with more than one person in the same night while one or
more of the people involved were NOT aware of your actions? 98. gone steady with two or more people
at the same time while one or more of the people involved were NOT aware of what you were doing?
99. gone steady with two or more people at the same time while all of them WERE aware you were
doing it? 100. urinated on someone else intentionally? (Piss fights!) 101. urinated in cup, bottle,
pitcher or any such receptacle that was not originally designed for such purpose? Urinalysis
incidents don't count. 102. urinated anywhere other than a bathroom, outhouse, tree, bush or any
commonly accepted piss hole? (in the kitchen sink, in the glove compartment of the family car...)
103. urinated from higher than the fifth floor, or equivalent height, above ground level, out of a
building or off a bridge or any such permanent structure (e.g. the Grand Canyon)? 104. defecated
anywhere other than a bathroom, outhouse or any commonly accepted shit hole? (Camping/hiking trips
in which bathroom/outhouse access are nil do not count.) 105. stored any excretia in a
refrigerator, oven, or any food storage/preparation appliance? 106. stored evacuated excretia
anywhere else in your room, apartment, house, habitation, office, etc? 107. entered a bathroom of
the opposite sex, unaccompanied by someone of the opposite sex, while not involved in a search
and/or rescue mission? 108. mooned or flashed someone from the front? 109. farted (audibly) in
mixed company? 110. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty much totally yourself in public
before an informal, unofficial gathering of people? 111. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed
pretty much totally yourself in public before a formal (official) gathering of people? (Such as a
function, stage performance, charity dinner, etc.) 112. been arrested? (Picture taken and all that
wonderful, free stuff.) 113. received money or some favor to have sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation with someone? 114. given money or some favor to have sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation with someone? 115. thought you might be, or might have caused someone else to be,
unintentionally pregnant? 116. bought a home pregnancy test? 117. bought condoms? 118.
borrowed/stolen/taken birth control devices from your or someone else's parents? (Condoms,
spermicidal foam, diaphragms, chastity belt) 119. had, or given someone, an unwanted pregnancy?
120. lied about being pregnant or about having made someone pregnant? 121. had sex while either you
or your partner, but not both, were under the legal age of consent of the state in which you were
having sex? 122. thought you had VD? 123. had VD of any sort (VD, STD's, i.e. the clap, crabs,
herpes, etc.) 124. had an AIDS test due to reasonable suspicion or hyperactive imagination? 125.
given a sympathy fuck? 126. initiated sex with someone for the sake of sex only? 127. willingly
committed incest? 128. committed adultery? (you need not have been the one who was married to get
this point.) 129. bought lingerie/undergarments of the opposite sex? 130. stolen the underwear of
someone you knew, for a purpose other than that of a practical joke or to just ire the person? (A
bunch of guys invading the women's dorm on a mission of panty raids does not count.) 131.
intentionally taken someone's underwear and didn't know who it belonged to?
______________ Section 4: Drugs.
43 Questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 132. had an alcoholic drink? 133. been
intoxicated? 134. thrown up from having drunk too much alcohol? 135. passed out due to having drunk
too much alcohol? 136. forgotten events that occurred while you were drunk? 137. smoked tobacco?
(cigarette, pipe, cigar, hookah) 138. chewed tobacco? (snuff) 139. bought controlled/illicit drugs,
or any compound scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the law? 140. sold or re-sold
controlled/illicit substances, or any compound scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the law? 141.
taken stimulants? 142. taken depressants excluding alcohol? 143. inhaled nitrous oxide while not
visiting a dentist? 144. inhaled anything containing butyl nitrate? 145. used a commercial
aphrodisiac? (Spanish Fly, Magic Love Drops, powdered rhino horn, etc.) 146. taken valium? 147.
smoked marijuana/sensemilia? 148. smoked marijuana/sensemilia more than four times? 149. eaten
marijuana/sensemilia? 150. eaten marijuana or sensemilia more than four times? 151. taken opiate in
any form? 152. taken opiate in any form more than twice? 153. used cocaine? 154. used cocaine more
than four times? 155. injected any drugs into your body for any other purpose other than medical?
156. injected any one drug into your body for any purpose other than medical more than twice? 157.
taken Ecstasy/X? 158. taken PCP? 159. taken PCP more than twice? 160. taken d-lysergic acid
diethylamide (LSD-25), peyote, or psilocybin? 161. taken LSD, peyote, or psilocybin more than
twice? 162. taken LSD more than six times? 163. deliberately injured yourself so as to obtain
medication? 164. played any games in which there was a mystery as to who would be getting drugs and
who wouldn't, yet everybody plays in it? (e.g. "Who's got the pill", where half the cups (of soda)
have LSD in them and the other half don't, and everybody picks a cup and drinks it and wonders who
gets lucky.) 165. gone to class or work while under the influence of drugs? (alcohol counts) 166.
mixed drugs? (alcohol counts. Mixed meaning being under the influence of two or more drugs at
once.) 167. sold possessions in order to obtain drugs? 168. had sex while under the influence of
nitrous? 169. had an orgasm while under the influence of nitrous? (difficult because of timing)
170. had sex while under the influence of cocaine? 171. had sex while under the influence of
marijuana/sensemilia? 172. had sex while under the influence of Ecstasy/X? 173. had sex while under
the influence of LSD, peyote, or psilocybin? 174. had sex while under the influence of drugs with a
partner who did not realize you were on them?
______________ Section 5: Non
Platonic Relations. 63 Questions. For this section, it you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your
partner in deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or "partner", is someone of the OPPOSITE
gender. - homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or
"partner", is to be someone of your OWN gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in
deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or "partner", is to be someone of the OPPOSITE
gender. Have you done any of the following: 175. propositioned someone for necking or petting?
(petting is defined as any caressing, patting, stroking or fondling.) 176. propositioned someone
for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 177. pinched or patted someone else's buttocks? 178.
french kissed? 179. been kissed below the neck but not including arms or hands? 180. kissed someone
else below the neck but not including arms or hands? 181. necked? 182. petted above the waist? 183.
petted below the waist? 184. kissed on the first date? 185. necked on the first date? 186. petted
above the waist on the first date? 187. petted below the waist on the first date? 188. given a
hickey? 189. received a hickey? 190. worn specific clothes for the purpose of hiding hickeys?
(i.e., turtlenecks) 191. fondled or stroked someone else's clothed legs? 192. fondled or stroked
someone else's bare legs? 193. fondled or stroked someone else's frontal chest/torso region? 194.
had your frontal chest/torso region fondled or stroked? 195. been involved with pelvic thrusting
while fully clothed? 196. had your fingers licked or sucked? 197. had your ear or ear region
licked, breathed upon, sucked, or nibbled? 198. licked, breathed onto, sucked, or nibbled an ear or
ear region? 199. licked or sucked someone else's finger(s)? 200. fondled someone who was asleep?
201. given a back massage with ulterior motives? 202. given a back massage that led to something
steamier? 203. seen someone else completely nude when that person was under good lighting
conditions? 204. been seen completely nude by someone else under good lighting conditions? 205.
been in someone's company while both of you were completely nude? 206. bathed or showered with
someone? 207. let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself.
(This means that if you were in the hospital with two broken arms and the nurse washed you, it
doesn't count, no matter how cute s/he was.) 208. gone skinny dipping in mixed company? 209. been
involved with the stroking or fondling of a woman's clothed breast (as either possessor or fondler
of the breast)? 210. been involved with the stroking or fondling of a woman's bare breast (as
either possessor or fondler of the breast)? 211. licked, sucked, or nibbled on someone else's
nipple? 212. had your nipple licked, sucked, or nibbled upon? 213. petted, stroked, fondled, or
otherwise handled someone else's covered genitals? 214. had your covered genitals petted, stroked,
fondled, or otherwise handled? 215. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled someone else's
bare genitals? 216. had your bare genitals petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled? 217. had
an orgasm while petting? 218. given your partner an orgasm while petting? 219. given finger scratch
marks? 220. received finger scratch marks? 221. drawn blood by scratching during sex? 222. drawn
blood by biting during sex? (hickeys do not count as having drawn blood) 223. given or received
*scars* from scratches or bites made during sex? 224. performed oral sex? 225. received oral sex?
226.
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swallowed semen, or licked female liquids off of fingers? 227. done sixty-nine ? 228.
performed mutual masturbation? 229. had sex? (No need for orgasm; penetration counts.) 230. had sex
on the first date? 231. had sex without the use of birth control devices? (Use of the rhythm,
prayer, and hope methods counts as "without the use of birth control devices".) 232. had sex with a
virgin? (Not yourself.) 233. had sex with someone whose name you did not know? (and *still* don't
know) 234. had sex with someone whose face you never saw? 235. had sex with someone where there was
an age difference of more than 20 years? 236. had sex with someone not of your own race? 237. had
sex with a religious officiary? (Priest, nun, mother-superior, cardinal, pope, deity, etc.)
______________ Section 6: Non
Primary Choice Relations. 39 questions. This section of the test deals with whether you have done
things with people whom you may not be altogether comfortable, therefore in this section of the
test, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the word
"someone" or "partner", is to be someone of your OWN gender. - homosexual, then your partner in
deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or "partner", is someone of the OPPOSITE gender. -
50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the word "someone" or
"partner", is to be someone of your OWN gender. Have you ever done any of the following: 238. held
hands or otherwise displayed public affection? 239. kissed someone on the lips? 240. french kissed
someone? 241. necked? 242. petted? 243. received manual sex? 244. given manual sex? 245. received
oral sex? 246. given oral sex? 247. had sex? 248. had sex with a virgin? (not yourself.) 249. had
sex with someone when there was an age difference of more than 20 years? 250. had anal sex? (The
use of fingers or any phallic objects in this case would also count.) 251. been involved in
fist-fucking? 252. done 69? (simultaneous oral sex.) 253. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex,
or mutual masturbation? 254. yielded willingly to a proposition from someone for sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation? 255. had sex with someone whose name you didn't know? (and still don't know.)
256. had sex with someone whose face you never saw? 257. been a participant in a
who's-physically-better-equipped verification contest? (Contestants must be of same gender;
spectators, judges, umpires, and verifiers may be of different gender.) 258. been a judge in a
contest such as above? 259. gave money or favors for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 260.
received money or favors for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 261. fondled someone who was
asleep? 262. attempted to seduce someone? 263. allowed yourself to be seduced? 264. had an orgasm
while petting? 265. gave your partner an orgasm while petting? 266. had an orgasm at all? 267. had
sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with more than 10 people? 268. stroked or fondled the clothed
legs of someone? 269. stroked or fondled the bare legs of someone? 270. stroked or fondled the
clothed chest/torso region of someone? 271. stroked or fondled the bare chest/torso region of
someone? 272. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the clothed genitals of someone else? 273.
stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the bare genitals of someone else? 274. had sex, oral sex,
mutual masturbation with someone not of your own race? 275. been in a menage-a-trois of people of
the same sex? 276. been involved in group sex, with all participants of the same sex? (4 or more
people, partners must be exchanged.)
______________ Section 7:
Alternate Choices. 26 questions. For any of the questions in this section, a yes answer is in order
if it is something that you do as an alternative to other sexual gratifications or as an aid and/or
in conjunction with other means of sexual gratification. In other words, have you done it in a
serious basis? Trying it a few times to see what it's like does not count. Have you ever done any
of the following: 277. been decidedly heterosexual? 278. been decidedly homosexual? 279. been
decidedly bisexual? 280. practiced bestiality (avec les animaux)? 281. practiced transvesticism?
282. practiced sadism ? 283. practiced masochism ? 284. practiced bondage? 285. practiced
domination? 286. practiced submission? 287. practiced sodomy (anal intercourse)? 288. practiced
cocrophilia (a marked interest in excrement; esp. the use of feces or filth for sexual excitement)?
289. practiced frotteurism (masturbation by rubbing against another's person or the need to rub
against another stranger)? 290. practiced infantilism (a dependency on the sight or feeling of
diapers or of being diapered; a dependency on being dressed and treated as a baby)? 291. practiced
klismaphilia (a dependency on being given an enema)? 292. practiced necrophilia (copulation with a
corpse)? 293. practiced mysophilia (a dependency on something soiled or filthy, such as sweaty
underwear or used menstrual pads)? 294. practiced scoptophilia (a dependency on looking at sexual
organs and watching sexual activity openly, not surreptitiously, as in voyeurism)? 295. practiced
urophilia (being dependently responsive to the smell or taste of urine or the sight and sound of
someone urinating)? 296. practiced role-playing (nurse-patient, teacher-student, border guard- well
endowed co-ed, etc.)? 297. owned an underwear collection of underwear not belonging to you? 298.
been a foot fetishist to any degree? 299. been a leather fetishist to any degree? 300. been a
rubber/latex fetishist to any degree? 301. been a voyeur? 302. been an exhibitionist?
______________ Section 8: Group
Sexual Relations. 27 questions. This section relates to what you have or have not done.
Accordingly, the group of people of which we are speaking are of both genders. In questions where
groups of people are concerned, there must be at least one person in the group who is of the
opposite gender. Have you ever done any of the following: 303. listened to dirty jokes in mixed
company? 304. told dirty jokes in mixed company? 305. discussed masturbation? (Bringing up the
topic of masturbation during Purity Testing does not cut it as discussing masturbation.) 306.
watched a porn movie in mixed company? 307. watched a porn movie with your own or someone else's
parents? 308. played a game which may require you or others to disrobe? 309. played a game which
may require you or others to perform an action on another participant? 310. been in intimate
contact with more than one person at the same time while all of you were nude? 311. had oral sex
with more than 10 people? (not necessarily at one time) 312. had sex with more than 10 people? (not
necessarily at one time) 313. had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour period? 314. had sex
with both genders in a 24 hour period? 315. been in a menage-a-trois with at least one member of
the opposite sex? 316. walked in on others having sex (committed an "oops") and then joined in?
317. had sex or oral sex with a person and his/her parent? (not necessarily at the same time.) 318.
had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, necking, or petting with a person and his/her sibling? (not
necessarily at the same time.) 319. been involved in a two (or more) in one? (oral come and get it
while it's hot.) 321. been in a circle of fuck? 322. been in a 69 circle? 323. been to a (cooking,
baby, Wesson) oil party? 324. played naked Twister [tm] (with or without oil)? 325. participated in
a heterosexual orgy or been involved in group sex? (Four people or more; partners must be
exchanged.) 326. participated in a bisexual orgy or group sex? (Four people or more; partners must
be exchanged.) 327. propositioned a person or group of people for group sex? 328. been
propositioned for group sex? 329. participated in a fuck-a-thon? (Where the object is to see how
many times you can do it in a certain amount of time.)
______________ Section 9: Non
sentient objects. 62 questions. This section measures your kinkiness. Therefore, the questions
apply to actions and events which occurred while you were alone, as well as those which occurred
while you were with someone else. Have you ever done any of the following: 330. used a bowling pin,
Coke bottle, or something along those general shapes for masturbatory or sexual purposes? 331.
masturbated using the aid of food? 332. eaten the food used in masturbation after masturbation?
333. eaten a lab dissection? 334. inserted food into your or someone else's anus? 335. eaten food
after it was extracted/evacuated from your or someone else's anus? 336. received an enema for a
purpose other than medical? 337. received an enema consisting on a non-normal enema solution (wine,
beer, urine, windex)? 338. actually measured your own or someone else's penis? (i.e., actually
grabbed a ruler, yardstick, tape measure, etc.) 339. used a mechanical hand-holdable device in
aiding or replacing masturbation? (vibrator, massager, Dustbuster(tm), vacuum cleaner, etc.) 340.
used a feather or any other tickling device for the purpose of tickling? 341. used tickling as a
form of *arousal*? 342. used ice for sexual purposes? 343. used ice for something frozen as a
dildo? (ice cubes don't count here - icicles, popsicles, and the like. Penetration.) 344. used a
strap-on dildo or male extension sheath? 345. used whipped cream for sexual purposes? 346. used
hot/melted wax for sexual purposes? 347. had sex in front of or under a mirror? 348. put food,
gravy, syrup, salad dressing, candy, peanut butter, honey or anything else edible on your partner's
body, and then eaten it? 349. used household syrup, sandwich spreading, oil, salad dressing, or any
like substance for sexual purposes? 350. used ropes, chains, cuffs or any other such device for
bondage purposes? 351. used a whip, chain, cat-o-nine-tails, or something similar for pain? 352.
worn edible underwear/lingerie? 353. eaten edible underwear/lingerie off of someone? 354. worn a
leather/grore suit? 355. worn diapers for a sexual or masturbatory purpose? 356. been diapered by
someone else for a sexual or masturbatory purpose? 357. used a ball gag or other manufactured gag?
358. worn a collar and/or leash? 359. been completely tied down (spreadeagled, hogtied, etc.)? 360.
tied someone down completely? 361. had sex while you or your partner was tied up? 362. used nipple
clips (clothespins count)? 363. pierced a part of your body other than your ears or nose (nipples,
labia, head of penis)? 364. found a prepubescent child sexually attractive/arousing? 365. had
sexual contact of any kind with a prepubescent child? 366. used an inflatable doll? 367. humped an
inanimate object like a pillow, (dinner) liver, hole in the wall, sausage, banana, etc? 368. had
sex or oral sex with a dead person? 369. inserted a small animal or creature into your rectum?
(Either alive or dead.) 370. had sex or oral sex with your (dead) dinner animal? 371. watched
animals having sex? 372. been aroused by the sight of animals having sex? 373. attempted to have
sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a live animal, but failed? 374. had sex, oral sex, or
(mutual) masturbation with a smallish animal? (Dog, cat, rabbit, lab rat, gerbil, etc.) 375. had
sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a domesticated farm animal? (Cow, pig, chicken, sheep,
etc.) 376. mutilated or killed any living animal or creature for your pleasures? [The following
three questions differ from those above in that ones above measure your variation in animal choice,
and the questions down here measure what you did with the animals.] 377. had sex with a live
animal? (Any size.) 378. received oral sex from a live animal? (Any size.) 379. gave oral sex to a
live animal? (Any size.) 380. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a single type animal
more than once? (Alive or dead.) 381. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with an animal in
the presence of 1 or more other people? 382. cross dressed in the *undergarments* of the opposite
sex for a sexual purpose? (This means that school plays, initiations, and the like don't count.)
383. cross dressed in the *undergarments* of the opposite sex for a sexual purpose in the presence
of 1 or more other people? (Plays and the like still don't count - this is for a sexual purpose).
384. stuffed your pants or bra while you were cross-dressed for your sexual purpose? 385. had your
head inserted into a urinal or toilet bowl willingly? (Doing this in a pristine, show-room model
does not count.) 386. worn groinal underwear on your head? (Panties, jock-strap, etc.) 387. eaten,
sucked, licked, nibbled, or otherwise inserted a used, unwashed piece of groinal underwear into
your mouth while said underwear was not being worn at the time? 388. deliberately sniffed or
smelled a used, unwashed piece of groinal underwear while it was not being worn at the time? 389.
been gagged with someone's underwear? (not your own) 390. played in or with shit? 391. worn or used
a condom or any feminine hygiene contraption that has already been used by someone else?
______________ Section 10:
Locality. 33 questions. This section tries to figure out how many places you have done it. It
applies only to those situations in which you were with someone else. Have you ever done any of the
following: 392. necked or petted in a place of religion? (Church, temple, altar, Grand Holy Cabbage
Head Patch, etc.) 393. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a place of
religion? 394. necked or petted in a place of the dead? (Morgue, mortuary, cemetery, etc.) 395. had
sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a place of the dead? 396. necked or
petted in a contraption of the dead? (Coffin, hearse, body bag, etc.) 397. had sex or been involved
in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a contraption of the dead? 398. had sex in/on a construction
site (house, office, launch platform, etc.)? 399. necked or petted in a moderately sized,
land/road-based vehicle of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? (car, station wagon,
van, minivan, minibus, fuckmobile, etc.) 400. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual
masturbation in a moderately sized, land/road-based vehicle of LESS THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen
gross weight? 401. necked or petted in a land/road-based vehicle of MORE THAN 30,000 pounds net
unladen gross weight? (truck, tank, armored car, steam- roller, crane, bulldozer, garbage truck,
etc.) 402. had sex or been involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a land/road-based vehicle
of MORE THAN 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 403. had sex or been involved in oral sex or
mutual masturbation in a land- based, non road dependant vehicle? (Train, subway, roller-coaster,
monorail, Disneyland ride, etc.) 404. necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated, or had sex or
oral sex in a water based, manual powered vehicular transport medium? (Rowboat, surfboard, floating
bathtub, etc.) (For this question it only counts if the thing was in the water at the time.) 405.
necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated, or had sex or oral sex in a water based, wind or
propeller driven transport medium LESS THAN 80 feet in length? (Yacht, PT boat, windsurfer,
Sunfish, etc.) 406. necked, petted, masturbated, been masturbated, or had sex or oral sex in a
water based, wind or propeller driven transport medium MORE THAN 80 feet in length? (Cruise ship,
battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear submarine, etc.) 407. necked, petted, masturbated, been
masturbated, or had sex or oral sex in an aircraft? (Airplane, helicopter, hovercraft, balloon,
zeppelin, space shuttle, flying carpet, flying saucer, etc.) 408. had sex in a household room other
than a bedroom? 409. had sex on the floor (but not the roof)? 410. had sex on any furniture that is
indoors but is not a bed, table, desk, counter-top, a nor anything that is predominantly used for
sitting or as a table/desk? (Television, washer/dryer, microwave, etc.)_ 411. had sex, participated
in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation in a telephone booth, voting booth, automatic
photograph taker, or any such small, non-moving enclosure that was not designed for such
activities? 412. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation in an
elevator, people-mover, escalator, dumbwaiter, or any building-internal people moving device? 413.
had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation up a tree but not in a
tree house or similar structure? 414. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation in a suspension device
of some kind (hammock, trampoline, tightrope, safety net, etc.)? 415. had sex, participated in oral
sex, or participated in mutual masturbation on the roof of a building in excess of 5 floors? 416.
had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation inside or within the
confines of a hedge, bush, other natural vegetation which can provide a wall effect, cave, rock
overhang, in a well, or any other secluded, outdoor, non-vegetative shielding structure? 417. had
sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in the snow? (Spring thaw is acceptable.) 418. had sex, oral
sex, or mutual masturbation in a place where the prevailing, ambient temperature (of the air
immediately surrounding you) was below the freezing point of water? 419. had sex, participated in
oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation in a place where you could have been discovered?
420. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a water-filled bathtub, hot tub, or under a
shower or other running water (waterfall, torrential downpour, monsoon, etc.)? 421. had sex, oral
sex, or mutual masturbation in a body of water? (swimming pool, swimming hole, pond, lake, lagoon,
sea, ocean, etc.) 422. had sex on the beach (and the resultant sand in uncomfortable places)? 423.
had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a bathroom of the opposite sex? 424. gone to a motel
(however sleazy) for the sole purpose of having sex?
______________ Section 11: Style.
76 questions. Have you ever done any of the following: 425. watched while someone else masturbated?
426. been watched while masturbating? 427. orgasmed on somebody? 428. orgasmed in somebody if you
are male, or had someone orgasm in you if you are female? 429. had more than one person orgasm on
you at once, or been one of several people orgasming on someone else? 430. been involved in the use
of a penis as a leash or bludgeoning device? 431. been involved in oxygen deprivation for sexual
enhancement? (Nitrous oxide does not count.) 432. willingly made video tapes or had pictures taken
while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 433. physically watched others having sex? 434.
watched your partner of choice having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with someone else? 435.
taken pictures or made video tapes of your partner of choice having sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation with someone else? 436. willingly made audio recordings while having sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation? 437. talked dirty while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 438.
intentionally made more noise than necessary while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation so
as to put on a good show for whoever might have been listening in? 439. intentionally made "animal"
noises during sex? 440. had a pet or domesticated animal walk over you or your partner while you
were involved in sex or oral sex? 441. had a general emergency arise while you were steeped in sex?
(House on fire, flash flood, hurricane, private plane crash lands in your dwelling, etc.) 442. had
your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone? 443. taken nude pictures of someone
else? 444. had nude pictures of you taken? 445. placed a personal ad? 446. answered a personal ad?
447. been involved in breast fucking? (aka "The Hawaiian Muscle Fuck") 448. participated in
fist-fucking? (see "Caligula") 449. shaved someone's genital pubic hair (or had yours shaved) as
part of a sexual activity? 450. had sex for more than three hours in a single session of sex? 451.
been bruised during sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? (hickies do not count.) 452. bruised
someone else during sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 453. been injured during sex, oral sex,
or mutual masturbation? 454. orgasmed more than three times in one session of sex? 455. had sex so
many times or for so long that one or both people involved runs dry? 456. disturbed other people by
making excessive noise while having sex? 457. had sex or mutual masturbation or received oral sex
while you were driving (the car or boat or whatever vehicle)? 458. had sex doggie fashion? 459. had
sex in the female superior position? 460. had sex sitting up? 461. had sex standing up? 462. had
sex upside-down? 463. gone through two or more sexual positions without the need for re-entry? 464.
fallen asleep during sex? 465. woken up to someone having sex with you? 466. had sex while one
person was passed out or unconscious? 467. given or received a hickey on your upper inner thigh?
468. been on the receiving of anal sex? 469. been on the ramming end of anal sex (a dildo counts)?
470. had sex more than 10 times with 1 person? 471. had sex more than 5 times in a 24 hour period?
472. had sex more than 10 times in a 24 hour period? 473. had sex, participated in oral sex, or
participated in masturbation while someone other than your partner was watching? 474. had sex or
oral sex while one or both of you were playing a musical instrument, hacked, watched television,
read, drawn or in other words were preoccupied with something other than sex and lust? 475.
performed oral sex after intercourse without washing or douching? 476. kissed your partner on the
lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? 477. inflicted
pain during sex? 478. been involved in cunnilingus during the woman's period? 479. had sex during
the woman's period? 480. foot masturbated someone? 481. been foot masturbated? 482. tongue bathed
someone? 483. been tongue bathed? 484. licked or sucked on someone else's feet and/or toes? 485.
had your feet and/or toes licked or sucked by someone else? 486. licked someone's anus? 487. licked
someone's anus while they were defecating? 488. performed oral sex while the person was urinating?
489. drank your own urine? 490. tasted or drank someone else's urine? 491. drank/drained an entire
bladder-full of someone else's urine? 492. drank human blood? 493. tasted someone else's nasal
mucous? 494. been involved in a golden shower? 495. swallowed your partner's orgasmic secretions?
496. used the Purity Test as a checklist of things you could do? 497. ever done something for the
sole purpose of lowering your Purity Test score? 498. bought/read books to enhance sexual
technique? 499. participated in Purity Testing with an ulterior motive? 500. become interested in
someone only after hearing about their Purity Test score?
______________ I. Scoring
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper containing lots of itty-bitty
answers to the Purity Test. Sworn to excellence of workmanship, we now give you directions on how
to calculate your Purity score. There are several methods; the calculator method works best. Also
there is the a la mainframe method. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.) Scoring method: Count
"yes" answers. Subtract that number from 500. Divide the result by 5. The result is your percentage
purity. The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the score, the
more of a sleaze-bag you are. For your reference, we include calculator directions: For people with
real calculators (HP): [ENTER] 5 / For people with other (dinky) calculators: / 5 =
______________ II. Warranty
Information We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor does it
guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat better in bed or the haystack. The
makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or damages resulting from this test,
including but not limited to paternity suits. Ask your doctor or pharmacist. Do not open back
panel; no user serviceable parts inside. Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written
permission of the publisher; just don't edit or change it. In reproducing this test, the authors of
this test may exercise droit de seigneur over you, your immediate family, or fiance(e). You may or
may not have additional rights which may vary from state to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstacy). Not
recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils,
additional paper, and batteries not included. Some assembly may be required. Does not come with any
other figures. ______________
Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents. The above is a public
service announcement of this institution.
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