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Back Archive-name: Miscell/pure-400.35aArchive-author: Archive-title: Unisex, Omnisex Purity Test
400______________ THE UNISEX,
OMNISEXUAL P U R I T Y T E S
T______________ Version 3.5A (400)
Final Release
13-Apr-1985______________Public
domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up withgoing down. The risen flesh
commands: let there be love. Murphy's law on sex:Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of
physics. Chaste makes waste.Virginity can be cured.This document was not sponsored by the
Department of Defense Advanced ResearchProjects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force
Avionics Laboratory.The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be
interpretedas representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of theDefense
Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it beinterpreted nor inferred that
the authors/contributors have actually performedany of the actions contained
herein.______________ N O T I C
EDisclaimer of LiabilityThe user of this test acknowledges, understands, and agrees that sex is
ahazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgementat all times; that
their partner's condition vary constantly and are greatlyaffected by weather changes and previous
use, that dirty sheets, variations interrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest
growth, rocks anddebris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles
andhazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroomarea. Personal
managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations andequipment are constantly in use and may
be hazardous to customers notcopulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases
resulting ininjury can happen at any time, even to customers copulating in control withproper
sexual equipment. Inherent and other risks are part of the sport andexist in your partner. As a
condition of being permitted to use the facilitiesof your sex object, the user of the partner
agrees to copulate in control andwithin the limits of his/her ability and further acknowledges and
accepts thesehazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person ordamage
to property which might result from the customer's use of the partner'sfacilities.As a further
condition of being permitted to use the facilities of yourpartner, the customer understands and
agrees (1) that in the event of atransfer of use by another or anything else in the management's
opinion ismisconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revokedwithout
refund; (2) that the partner is the property of the harem and, uponrequest, he/she must be
presented to any authorized representative of thepimp/spouse; (3) that sexual equipment must be
visibly displayed at all timeswhen you are in any bedroom and when approaching the bed to
copulate.Your sexual partner is not transferable; see Theft of Services, V.S.A.,sections 2581 and
2582.______________Genesis/History:
ver last revise #of q revision site/contributors 1 - - 100 MIT Baker House/anon 1 - -1982 100
Ported to CMU by ps 2 Spring-1983 247 CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al 3 13-Apr-1985 400 CMU/da,
fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et alVersion 1 (100) Created at MIT. Two parallel versions; one for male,
and one for female. Not much is known about this version.Version 2 (247) Expanded to 247 questions.
This marked the beginning of the unisex versions. The story goes that they intended it to be 250
questions, but got tired that night and said "we'll think of three more tomorrow", and tomorrow
never got there.Version 3.3C.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984 First formal release general of this test,
version 3.xx. All former version were short-lived and tended to be bug ridden. Does not
discriminate against gays or bi's. Good correspondence of scores (especially in the higher score
ranges) between this version and version 2. Added in Genesis/History section.Version 3.4 (400) on
29-Jan-1985 Internal version; never released. Source code accidentally destroyed, much to the
consternation of one of the authors. Cleaned up many bugs. Added sections: Disclaimer of Liability,
Instructions for Use, Scoring, and Warranty Information.Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985 Rebuilt
from the 3.3C.1 source and the 3.4 (only surviving copy) of the Xerox X9700 laser printer hardcopy.
Cleaned up same bugs in 3.4; wiped out a duplicate question; The page number was moved from top of
the page to the bottom center; this was to avoid problems trying to coordinate duplex/simplex
printing by other people and the positioning of odd/even page numbers. Added in verbose history
section.Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985 Found that we had 431 questions instead of 400. After an
all-night hack session, discovered that the problem lies with the version 4 (1400)-1 of Scribe and
how it treats @section headers and @begin(text). Ended up making the pageheading contain a Scribe
version field. Also had to add in an extra token @newpage on the page that the questions start;
this was to preserve the last of the @style[pagenumber (@A)] page numbers, preserve the same in the
Table of Contents, force the page number to be 1, make sure that the Contents get that right, and
to force @pageheading and
@pagefooting.______________Instruct
ions for Use:This is a fairly long test consisting of four hundred questions. It starts outtame and
gets progressively worse, or better, depending on your viewpoint.There are many ways of going about
taking this test. You can, of course, asyour right, guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social
and sequesteryourself in your room and take this test all by yourself; however, we feel thatthe
funnest way to utilize this test if to hold a Purity Test Party. All youneed is one copy of the
test, and a bunch of friends. (No doubt lots of writingimplements and paper would be useful too.)
The person with the copy of the testwill be the test administrator; he/she will read the questions
out loud andeverybody else will write down their answers. We have no definite rules as towhether
the participants are required to divulge their answers, that is up tothe group to decide; however,
each person's purity score should be made commonknowledge. (The person with the highest score gets
to be giggled at for therest of his/her life.) This works great at parties and lets everybody
knowwho's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave homewithout it.All
questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to yousubsequent to your weaning and
babyhood infancy. Anything that may havehappened before such time is considered not standing and
void; it's a nullpoint. The term mutual masturbation refers to someone masturbating you AND/ORyou
masturbating someone else, not exclusively someone masturbating you AND youmasturbating them. We
would also like to define having sex in the homosexualcase; homosexual sex has occurred when you
and/or your partner (of the samesex) have an orgasm while there is some contact between the
genitals of you andthose of your partner.We would now like to bring to your attention that there is
no passing norfailing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting ahigh
score, even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life. --- ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT
---______________For this section,
if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then the your partner in deed, often referred to by the words
someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. - homosexual, then your partner in
deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. -
50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or
partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender.1. Platonic Relations Have you ever done any of
the following: 1. kissed a friend or stranger on their hands or their head/neck region as a
friendly gesture? 2. held hands with someone? 3. had a date? 4. had a date past 1 a.m.? 5. dated
someone on a regular basis? 6. picked someone up? 7. been picked up? 8. gone steady? 9. slow
danced? 1 10. had the symptoms of Russian fingers? 2 11. had the symptoms of Roman hands? 12.
shared a bed, sleeping bag, or sleeping accommodations with someone without anything steamy
happenings? 13. given a back or neck rub or massage with no ulterior motive? 14. used tickling as a
pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine? 15. directly asked someone whom you were not going out
with and had never gone out with if they were a virgin? 16. used physical strength, physical power,
or any physical prowess, or prowesslessness as a factor in pick-up, get-to-know-you-better routine?
17. secretly lusted after someone without that person knowing? 18. dropped subtle hints to someone
whom you liked/loved/wanted, hoping that they would pick up on
it?______________Although this
section is termed Auto-erotica and mono-sexualism, the events herein still count even if you are
with someone else at the time. It was so named because predominantly these activities, like the
harp, (and the porcelain goddess) is essentially a solo event.2. Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism
Have you ever done the following: 19. had an arousing dream? (Wet dreams and the such.) 20. been
sexually aroused? 21. uttered/muttered/yelled/screamed (or in other words verbally expressed)
obscenities? 22. fantasized about your long-term instructor, mentor, or someone who is superior to
you? (One day skydiving teachers, or two hour ski instructors and the such do not count.) 23.
fantasized about your lawyer, doctor, nurse, psychiatrist or someone with whom you are having a
professional relationship with? 24. fantasized about someone you know personally but not closely?
25. fantasized about anyone and masturbated at the same time? 26. read or bought pornographic
periodicals? 27. read sexually explicit literature? 28. gone skinny dipping alone? 29. made obscene
phone calls? 30. phoned up any recorded phone sex numbers? (e.g. (212)976-2626, (212)976-2727,
(212)976-2828, etc. Please note that these are fifty cent calls in addition to toll charges and
long distance charges.) 31. phoned up any live phone sex numbers? 32. stuffed your bra if you are
female, or stuffed your pants if you are male? 33. shaved your genital pubic hair? 34. shaved your
genital pubic hair on a fairly regular basis? 35. masturbated? 36. masturbated at least five times
in one twenty-four hour period? 37. masturbated on a fairly regular basis of no less than once a
fortnight? 38. masturbated where you could have been discovered? (In a crowd, in public, city
parks, gym/dorm/barracks showers, movie theater, etc.) 39. masturbated out in the wilds or in
nature with no nearby civilization? 40. masturbated to orgasm? 41. masturbated while reading either
pornographic or sexually explicit materials? 42. masturbated while driving a moving, land vehicle?
(Car, RV, truck, motorcycle, hearse, etc.) 43. masturbated while on the phone? (No kinky
interpretations of on the phone. This is legit.) 44. masturbated while in a bathroom of the
opposite sex? 45. masturbated while watching an R or X-rated show? 46. seen any burlesque show?
(Rocky Horror counts) 47. been to a peep show? 48. been to a private showing of a pornographic
movie? 49. seen a pornographic movie in a theater? 50. walked around in your
room/apartment/house/habitation in the nude? (Must be a serious walk; five minutes of going around
trying to find your undies after a shower doesn't make it.) 51. walked around in a public or
semi-public area with a top (shirt, T-shirt, etc) but no bottoms (pants, shorts, etc)? (Dorm
hallways, lobby areas, etc. are acceptable; however locker rooms and bathrooms and such place where
this behavior is not proscribed does not count.) 52. bought blatant sexual objects? (This means
that if you buy a bottle tm of Coke and you use it as a dildo, it really doesn't count. Think:
design and function.) 53. owned any erotic art pieces? (Like that phallic symbol in the cat woman
scene in A Clockwork Orange.) 54. sculpted erotic-obscene artworks in food (predominantly bananas,
carrots, apples...)? 55. eaten any erotic food items? (Chocolate tits, banana dicks, etc.) 56.
sculpted erotic-obscene artworks in soap, wood, or any other carvable material (that isn't food)?
57. made an X or R-rated snowman or snow-woman? 58. tasted your own orgasmic liquids? 59. inserted
your finger into your rectum? 3 60. used ben-wa balls ? 61. performed oral sex on yourself? (Yes,
this is possible.) 62. willingly urinated on the garments that you were wearing at the time? (In
other words: piss in your pants; wet yourself; had an accident.) 63. willingly urinated on any part
of your body? 64. willingly defecated on the garments that you were wearing at the time? (In other
words: shit in your pants; had a serious accident.) 65. willingly defecated on yourself? (In other
words: sick.)______________3.
Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Questions Have you ever done any of the following: 66.
administered a whole Purity Test or are in the process of administering a whole Purity Test of any
version? (That's where you are the test administrator in a Purity Test Party. See Instructions for
Use for further information.) 67. taken Purity Tests of any versions more than 5 times? 68. lied on
any previous Purity Tests? 69. exaggerated about any sexual experiences? 70. broken your word,
promise, or vow? 71. written graffitti? 72. plagiarized? 73. shoplifted? 74. stolen? 75. made out a
check that bounced? 76. committed breaking and entering? 77. told someone that you loved them when
you did not? 78. told someone that you loved them strictly because you wanted to have sex with
them? 79. fantasized about someone else other than your partner while you were engaged in sex, oral
sex, or mutual masturbation? 80. intentionally listened in onto other people having sex, oral sex,
or mutual masturbation without their knowing it? 81. used alcohol to lower someone else's
inhibitions for the intent of sex or oral sex? 82. used drugs to lower someone else's inhibitions
for the intent of sex or oral sex? 83. forced or coerced someone into having intimate physical
relations with you? 84. had dates with more than one person in the same night while one or more of
the people involved were not aware of your actions? 85. gone steady with two or more people at the
same time with one or more of the people unaware of what you were doing? 86. gone steady with two
or more people at the same time with all of them knowing that you were doing it? 87. urinated on
someone else intentionally? (Piss fights!) 88. urinated in cup, bottle, pitcher or any such
receptacle that was not originally designed for such purpose excepting urinalysis incidents? 89.
urinated anywhere other than a bathroom, outhouse, tree, bush or any commonly accepted piss hole?
(For instance: in the kitchen sink, or in the family car's glove compartment.) 90. urinated from
higher than the fifth floor, or equivalent height, above ground level out of a building or off a
bridge or any such permanent structure (e.g. the Grand Canyon)? 91. defecated anywhere other than a
bathroom, outhouse or any commonly accepted shit hole? (Camping/hiking trips in which
bathroom/outhouse access are nil do not count.) 92. stored any excretia in your refrigerator, oven,
or any food storage/preparation appliance? 93. stored evacuated excretia anywhere else in your
room, apartment, house, habitation, office, etc? 94. entered a bathroom of the opposite sex and was
not accompanied by someone of the opposite sex and was not involved in a search and/or rescue
mission at the time? 4 95. mooned or goosed someone? 96. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed
pretty much totally yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of
people? 97. streaked, flashed, or otherwise exposed pretty much totally yourself in public before a
formal (official) gathering of people? (Such as for a function, stage performance, charity dinner,
etc.) 98. been arrested? (Picture taken and all that wonderful, free stuff.) 99. received money or
some favor to have sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 100. given money or some favor to have
sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 101. thought you might be or might have unintentionally
caused someone to be pregnant? 102. had or gave someone an unwanted pregnancy? 103. had sex while
either you or your partner but not both were under the age of consent of the state that you were in
then? 104. given a sympathy fuck? 105. initiated sex with someone for the sake of sex only? 106.
willingly committed incest? 107. been involved in adultery? 108. stolen the underwear of someone
you know for a purpose other than that of a practical joke or to just ire the person? (A bunch of
guys invading the women's dorm on a mission of panty raids does not count.) 109. intentionally
taken someone's underwear and didn't know who it belonged
to?______________4. Drugs Have you
ever done any of the following: 110. had an alcoholic drink? 111. been intoxicated? 112. threw-up
from too much alcohol? 113. passed out due to excessive alcohol? 114. forgotten events that
occurred while you were drunk? 115. smoked tobacco? 116. chewed tobacco? 117. bought
controlled/illicit drugs, or any compound scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the law? 118. sold
or re-sold controlled/illicit substances, or any compound scheduled by the DEA, in violation of the
law? 119. taken stimulants? 120. taken depressants excluding alcohol? 121. inhaled nitrous oxide
(NO ) while not visiting a dentist? 2 122. inhaled anything containing butyl nitrate? 123. taken
valium? 124. smoked marijuana/sensemilia? 125. smoked marijuana/sensemilia more than four times?
126. eaten marijuana/sensemilia? 127. eaten marijuana or sensemilia more than four times? 128.
taken opiate in any form? 129. taken opiate in any form more than twice? 130. used cocaine? 131.
used cocaine more than four times? 132. injected any drugs into your body for any other purpose
other than medical? 133. injected any one drug into your body for any purpose other than that of
medical more than twice? 134. taken PCP? 135. taken PCP more than twice? 136. taken d-lysergic acid
diethylamide (LSD-25), peyote, or psilocybin? 137. taken LSD, peyote, or psilocybin more than
twice? 138. taken LSD more than six times? 139. deliberately injured yourself so as to obtain
medication? 140. played any games in which there was a mystery as to who would be getting drugs and
who wouldn't, yet everybody plays in it? (e.g. Who's got the pill, where half the cups (of soda)
would have LSD in it and the other half wouldn't and everybody picks a cup and drinks it and
wonders who gets lucky.) 141. had sex while using cocaine? 142. had sex while under the influence
of marijuana/sensemilia? 143. had sex while under the influence of LSD, peyote, or
psilocybin?______________For this
section, it you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the
words someone or partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender. - homosexual, then your partner
in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender. -
50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or
partner, is to be someone of the opposite gender.5. Non Platonic Have you done any of the
following: 144. propositioned someone for necking or petting? 145. propositioned someone for sex,
oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 146. pinched or patted someone else's buttocks? 147. french
kissed? 148. been kissed below the neck but not including arms or hands? 149. kissed someone else
below the neck but not including arms or hands? 150. necked? 151. petted above the waist? 152.
petted below the waist? 153. kissed on the first date? 154. necked on the first date? 155. petted
above the waist on the first date? 156. petted below the waist on the first date? 157. given a
hickey? 158. received a hickey? 159. fondled or stroked someone else's clothed legs? 160. fondled
or stroked someone else's bare legs? 161. fondled or stroked someone else's frontal chest/torso
region? 162. had your frontal chest/torso region fondled or stroked? 163. been involved with pelvic
thrusting while fully clothed? 164. had your fingers licked or sucked? 165. had your ear or ear
region licked, breathed upon, sucked, or nibbled? 166. licked, breathed onto, sucked, or nibbled an
ear or ear region? 167. licked or sucked someone else's finger(s)? 168. fondled someone who was
asleep? 169. given a back massage with ulterior motives? 170. given a back massage that lead to
something steamier? 171. seen someone else completely nude and the person was under good lighting
conditions? 172. been seen completely nude under good lighting condition by someone else? 173. been
in someone's company while both of you were completely nude? 174. bathed or showered with someone?
175. let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself. (This means
that it doesn't count if you were in the hospital with two broken arms and the nurse washed you, no
matter how cute she is.) 176. gone skinny dipping in mixed company? 177. been involved with the
stroking or fondling of a woman's clothed breast? 178. been involved with the stroking or fondling
of a woman's bare breast? 179. licked, sucked, or nibbled on someone else's nipple? 180. had your
nipple licked, sucked, or nibbled upon? 181. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled someone
else's covered genitals? 182. had your covered genitals petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise
handled? 183. petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled someone else's bare genitals? 184. had
your bare genitals petted, stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled? 185. had an orgasm while
petting? 186. given your partner an orgasm while petting? 187. given or received finger scratch
marks? 188. performed oral sex? 189. received oral sex? 5 190. done sixty-nine ? 191. performed
mutual masturbation? 192. had sex? (No need for orgasm; penetration counts.) 193. had sex on the
first date? 194. had sex without the use of birth control devices? (Rhythm, prayer and hope methods
do not count.) 195. had sex with a virgin? (Not yourself.) 196. had sex with a religious officiary.
(Priest, nun, mother-superior, cardinal, pope,
etc.)______________This section of
the test deals with whether you have done things with people whom you may not be altogether
comfortable, therefore in this section of the test, if you are mostly a: - heterosexual, then your
partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own
gender.
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- homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the words someone or partner,
is someone of the opposite gender. - 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often
referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own gender.6. Non Primary
Choice Relations Have you ever done any of the following: 197. held hands or otherwise displayed
public affection? 198. kissed someone on the lips? 199. french kissed someone? 200. necked? 201.
petted? 202. received manual sex? 203. given manual sex? 204. received oral sex? 205. given oral
sex 206. had sex? 207. had anal sex? (The use of fingers or any phallic objects in this case would
also count.) 208. done 69? 209. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
210. yielded willingly to a proposition from someone for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
211. been a participant in a who's-physically-better-equipped verification contest? (Contestants
must be of same gender; spectators, judges, umpires, and verifiers may be of different gender.)
212. gave money or favors for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 213. received money or favors
for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 214. fondled someone who was asleep? 215. attempted to
seduce someone? 216. allowed yourself to be seduced? 217. had an orgasm while petting? 218. gave
your partner an orgasm while petting? 219. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with more than
10 people? 220. stroked or fondled the clothed legs of someone? 221. stroked or fondled the bare
legs of someone? 222. stroked or fondled the clothed chest/torso region of someone? 223. stroked or
fondled the bare chest/torso region of someone? 224. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the
clothed genitals of someone else? 225. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the bare genitals of
someone else? 226. been in a menage-a-trois of people of the same
sex?______________For any of the
questions in this section, a yes answer is in order if it is something that you do as an
alternative to other sexual gratifications or as an aid and/or in conjunction with other means of
sexual gratification, or in other words, have you done it in a serious basis? Trying it a few times
to see what it's like does not count.7. Alternate Choices Do any of the following apply: 227. been
decidedly heterosexual? 228. been decidedly homosexual? 229. been decidedly bisexual? 6 230.
practiced bestiality ? 231. practiced transvesticism? 7 232. practiced sadism ? 8 233. practiced
masochism ? 234. practiced bondage? 235. practiced domination? 236. practiced submission? 9 237.
practiced sodomy ? 10 238. practiced cocrophilia ? 11 239. practiced frotteurism ? 12 240.
practiced klismaphilia ? 13 241. practiced necrophilia ? 14 242. practice mysophilia ? 15 243.
practice scoptophilia ? 16 244. practiced urophilia ? 245. owned an underwear collection of
underwears not belonging to you? 246. been a foot fetishist to any degree? 17 247. been a voyeur ?
248. been an
exhibitionist?______________This
section relates to what you have or have not done. Accordingly, the group of people we are speaking
of are of both genders. In questions where groups of people are concerned, there must be at least
one person in the group who is of the opposite gender.8. Group Sexual Relations Have you ever done
any of the following: 249. listened to dirty jokes in mixed company? 250. told dirty jokes in mixed
company? 251. discussed masturbation? (Bringing up the topic of masturbation during Purity Testing
does not cut it as discussed masturbation.) 252. played a game in which it may require you or
others to disrobe themselves? 253. played a game in which it may require you or others to perform
an action on another participant? 254. been in intimate contact with more than one person at the
same time while all of you were nude? 255. had sex with more than 10 people? 256. had sex with more
than 1 person in a 24 hour period? 257. had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period? 18 258. been
in a bisexual/heterosexual menage-a-trois ? 259. had sex or oral sex with a person and his/her
parent? 260. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, necking, or petting with a person and his/her
sibling? 261. been involved in a two (or more) in one? 262. been involved in a gang bang? (Step
right up; come and get it while it's hot.) 263. been in a circle of fuck? 264. been in a 69 circle?
265. been to a (cooking, baby, Wesson) oil party? 266. participated in a heterosexual orgy or been
involved in group sex? (Four people or more; partners must be exchanged.) 267. participated in a
bisexual orgy or group sex? (Four people or more; partners must be exchanged.) 19 268. participated
in a fuck-a-thon ? (Where the object is to see how many times you can do it in the certain amount
of time.)______________This
section measures your kinkiness. Therefore, the questions apply to both actions and events
occurring while you were alone as well as when you were with someone else.9. Extracurricular,
deviant conduct9.1. Non sentient objects Have you ever done any of the following: tm 269. used a
bowling pin, Coke bottle, or something along those general shapes for masturbatory or sexual
purposes? 270. masturbated using the aid of food? 271. eaten the food used in masturbation after
masturbation? 272. eaten a lab dissection? 273. inserted food into yours or someone else's anus?
274. eaten the food after it was extracted/evacuated from yours or someone else's anus? 275.
received an enema for a purpose than that of medical? 276. used a basket, garbage can, or any other
comparable sized receptacle for target practice masturbation? 277. used a mechanical hand-holdable
device in aiding or replacing masturbation? (vibrator, massager, Dust-Buster, vacuum cleaner, etc.)
278. used a feather or any other tickling device for the purpose of tickling? 279. used ice for
sexual purposes? 280. used whipped cream for sexual purposes? 281. used hot/melted wax for sexual
purposes? 282. put food, gravy, syrup, salad dressing, candy, peanut butter, honey or anything else
edible on your partner's body and then eaten it? 283. used any household syrup, sandwich spreading,
oil, salad dressing, or any like substances for sexual purposes? 284. used ropes, chains, cuffs or
any other such device for bondage purposes? 285. used a whip, chain, cat-o-nine-tails, or something
similar for pain? 286. worn a leather/grore suit? 287. used an inflatable doll? 288. humped an
inanimate object like a pillow, (dinner) liver, hole in the wall, sausages, bananas, etc? 289. had
sex or oral sex with a dead person? 290. inserted a small animal or creature into your rectum?
(Either alive or dead.) 291. had sex, or oral sex with your (dead) dinner animal or creature? 292.
attempted to have sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a live animal, but failed? 293. had
sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a smallish animal? (Dogs, cats, rabbits, lab rats,
gerbils, etc.) 294. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a wild animal? (Tigers,
elephants, cougars, snakes, aardvarks, etc.) 295. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with
a domesticated farm animal? (Cow, pig, chicken, sheep, etc.) 296. mutilated any living animal or
creature for your pleasures? 297. had sex with a live animal? (Any size.) [These three questions
differ from those above in that ones above measure your variation in animal choice, and the
questions down here measure what you do with the animals.] 298. received oral sex from a live
animal? (Any size.) 299. gave oral sex to a live animal? (Any size.) 300. had sex, oral sex, or
(mutual) masturbation with a single type animal more than once? (Alive or dead.) 301. had sex, oral
sex, or (mutual) masturbation with more than one kind of animal? (Alive or dead.) 302. cross
dressed in the undergarments of the opposite sex for a sexual purpose? (This means that school
plays, initiations, and the such don't count.) 303. stuffed your pants or bra while you were
cross-dressed for your sexual purpose? 304. had your head inserted into a urinal or toilet bowl
willingly? (Doing this in a pristine, show-room model does not count.) 305. worn an groinal
underwear on your head? (Panties, jock-strap, etc.) 306. eaten, sucked, licked, nibbled, or
otherwise inserted unwashed, used crotch piece of underwear into your mouth while the said
underwear was not being worn at the time? 307. deliberately sniffed or smelled the crotch piece of
unwashed, used underwear while it was not being worn at the time? 308. played in or with shit? 309.
worn or used a condom, or any feminine hygiene contraption that has already been used by someone
else?______________This section
tries to figure out how many places you have done it. It applies only to those situations in which
you were with someone else.9.2. Locality Have you ever done any of the following: 310. necked or
petted in a place of religion? (Church, temple, altar, Grand Holy Cabbage Head Patch, etc.) 311.
had sex, been involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a place of religion? 312. had sex,
been involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a place of the dead? (Morgue, mortuary,
cemetery, etc.) 313. necked or petted in a place of the dead? 314. had sex, been involved in oral
sex, or mutual masturbation in a contraption of the dead? (Coffin, hearse, etc.) 315. necked or
petted in a contraption of the dead? 316. had sex, been involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation
in a car, station wagon, van, minivan, minibus, fuckmobile, or any moderately sized, land-road
based vehicle not in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 317. necked or petted in a
car, station wagon, van, minivan, minibus, fuckmobile, or any moderately sized, land-road based
vehicle not in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 318. had sex, been involved in
oral sex or mutual masturbation in a land-road based vehicle in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen
gross weight? (Truck, tank, armored vehicle, road-roller, etc.) 319. necked or petted in a
land-road based vehicle in excess of 30,000 pounds net unladen gross weight? 320. had sex been
involved in oral sex or mutual masturbation in a land based, non road dependant vehicle? (Train,
subway, roller-coaster, etc.) 321. had sex, received oral sex, been masturbated, performed oral
sex, masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in a water based, vehicular transport medium
locomoted by manual power? (Row boat, surfboard, floating bathtub, etc. While it may be true that
the surfboard, or whatever, need not be in water at the time, we are making it the case here; so
for it to be valid point, the thing must be in the water at the time.) 322. had sex, received oral
sex, been masturbated, performed oral sex, masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in a water
based, wind or propeller driven transport medium not in excess of 80 feet? (Yacht, PT boat, etc.)
323. had sex, received oral sex, been masturbated, performed oral sex, masturbated someone else,
necked, or petted in a water based, wind or propeller driven transport medium that is in excess of
80 feet? (Ship, battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear submarine, etc.) 324. had sex, received oral
sex, been masturbated, performed oral sex, masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in an
aircraft? (Airplane, helicopter, hovercraft, balloon, zeppelin, flying carpet, flying saucer, etc.)
325. had sex in a household room other than a bedroom? 326. had sex on the floor (but not the
roof)? 327. had sex on any furniture that is indoors but is not a bed, table, desk, counter-top, a
nor anything that is predominantly used for sitting, or to be used as a table/desk? 328. had sex,
participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation in a telephone booth, voting
booth, automatic photograph takers, or any such small, non-moving enclosure that was not designed
for such activities? 329. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation
in an elevator, people-mover, escalator, or any building internal people moving device? 330. had
sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual masturbation up a tree but not in a tree
house or similar structure? 331. had sex participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation on a roof of a building in excess of 5 floors? 332. had sex, participated in oral sex,
or participated in mutual masturbation inside or within the confines of a hedge, bush, other
natural vegetation which can provide a wall effect, cave, rock overhang, in a well, or any other
secluded, outdoor, non-vegetative shielding structure? 333. had sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation in the snow? (Spring thaw acceptable.) 334. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation
in a place where the prevailing, ambient temperature (of the air immediately surrounding you) was
below the freezing point of water? 335. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in
mutual masturbation in a place where you could have been discovered? 336. had sex, oral sex, or
mutual masturbation in a water-filled bath-tub, hot tub, under a shower, running water (as in
waterfalls, tropical, torrential downpour, monsoons, etc.)? 337. had sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation in a body of water? (swimming pool, swimming hole, pond, lake, lagoon, sea, ocean,
etc) 338. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a bathroom of the opposite
sex?______________9.3. Style Have
you ever done any of the following: 339. watched while someone else masturbated? 340. orgasmed on
somebody? 341. orgasmed in somebody if you are a male or had someone orgasm in you if you are a
female? 342. been involved in the use of a penis as a leash or bludgeoning device? 343. been
involved in oxygen deprivation for sexual enhancement? (Nitrous oxide does not count.) 344.
willingly made video tapes or had pictures taken while having sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation? 345. willingly made audio recordings while having sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation? 346. talked dirty while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 347.
intentionally made more noise than necessary while having sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation so
as to put on a good show for whoever may be listening in? 348. had a family pet or domesticated
animal walk over you or your partner during sex? 349. had a general emergency arise while you were
steeped in sex? (Such as: house on fire, flash flood, private plane crash lands in your
dwelling...) 350. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with someone in which there is an age
difference of more than 10 years? 351. taken nude pictures of someone else? 352. had nude pictures
of you taken? 353. been involved in breast fucking? (aka "The Hawaiian Muscle Fuck") 354.
participated in fist-fucking? 355. had sex for more than three hours in a single session of sex?
356. been bruised during sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 357. bruised someone else during
sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation? 358. been injured during sex, oral sex, or mutual
masturbation? 359. orgasmed more the three times in one session of sex? 360. disturbed other people
by the making of excessive noise while you and your partner were having sex? 361. had sex, oral
sex, or mutual masturbation while you were driving (the car or boat or whatever vehicle)? 362. had
sex doggie fashion? 363. had sex in the female superior position? 364. had sex sitting up? 365. had
sex standing up? 366. had sex upside-down? 367. gone through two or more sexual positions without
the need for re-entry? 368. fell asleep during sex? 369. woken up to someone having sex with you?
370. given or received a hickey on your upper, inner thigh? 371. been on the receiving of anal sex?
372. been on the ramming end of anal sex? 373. had sex more than 10 times with 1 person? 374. had
sex more than 5 times in a 24 hour period? 375. had sex more than 10 times in a 24 hour period?
376. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in masturbation while someone other than
your partner was watching? 377. had sex or oral sex while one or both of you were playing a musical
instrument, hacked, watched television, read, drawn or in other words were preoccupied with
something other than sex and lust? 378. performed oral sex after intercourse without washing or
douching? 379. kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor
washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? 380. inflicted pain during sex? 381. drawn blood by biting
during sex? (Hickeys do not count as having drawn blood.) 20 382. been involved in cunnilingus
during the woman's period? 383. had sex during the woman's period? 384. foot masturbated someone?
385. been foot masturbated? 386. tongue bathed someone? 387. been tongue bathed? 388. licked or
sucked on someone else's feet and/or toes? 389. had your feet and/or toes licked or sucked by
someone else? 390. licked someone's anus? 391. licked someone's anus while they were defecating?
392. performed oral sex while the person was urinating? 393. drank your own urine? 394. tasted or
drank someone else's urine? 395. drank human blood? 396. tasted someone else's nasal mucous? 397.
been involved in golden showers? 398. swallowed your partner's orgasmic secretions? 399. used the
Purity Test as a checklist of things you could do? 400. participated in Purity Testing with an
ulterior motive?______________I.
ScoringCongratulations, you are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper with lots ofitty-bitty
answers to the Purity Test. Sworn to excellence of workmanship, wenow give you directions on how to
calculate your Purity score. There areseveral methods; the calculator method works best, as does
the a la mainframemethod. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.) Of the easier ways: count upall
your "no" answers, then divide this number by four. This gives yourpercentage purity; the higher
the number, the more pure you are; in the samevein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag
you are. For yourreference, we include calculator directions: For people with real calculators
(HP): [ENTER] 4 / For people with other (dinky) calculators: / 4
=______________II. Warranty
InformationWe hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nordoes it
guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat betterin bed or the haystack.The
makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or damagesresulting from this test,
including but not limited to, paternity suits. Askyour doctor or pharmacist.Do not take apart;
there are no user serviceable parts inside.Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written
permission of thepublisher; just don't edit or change it. In reproducing this test, the authorsof
this test may exercise droit de seigneur over you, your immediate family, orfiance(e). You may or
may not have additional rights which may vary from stateto state. (i.e. inebriated)Not recommended
for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged andfrowned upon. Pencils, additional
paper, and batteries not included. Someassembly may be required. Does not come with any other
figures.______________Drive
carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.The above is a public service
announcement of this
institution.______________Footnotes
:1 Rushin' fingers.2 Roamin' hands.3 They come as a set of several balls strung together. These
balls are insertedinto the rectum of one of the participants before sex, and are yanked out,usually
by the partner, during orgasm. I think it's supposed to feel good orsomething like that.4 Goose:
opposite of moon.5 You must be at least 48 inches tall to be allowed on this ride.6 Avec les
animaux.7 For clarification: a sadist likes to hurt others.8 For clarification: a masochist likes
to receive pain.9 Anal sex.10 Marked interest in excrement; esp. use of feces or filth for
sexualexcitement.--Webster's Third New International Dictionary. An obsession with feces, varied in
expression; it may involve the sight andsound of a person defecating.--The Book of Sex Lists,
compiled by A. B. Gerber.Ballantine Books, New York. 1981.11 3: Masturbation by rubbing against
another person.--Webster's. The need to rub against another stranger, especially in a tightly
packedcrowd.--Sex Lists.12 A dependency on being given an enema.--Sex Lists.13 Fascination with the
dead; specif: obsession with and usu. erotic attractiontoward and stimulation by corpses typically
evidenced by overt acts (ascopulation with a corpse.)--Webster's.14 Abnormal attraction to
filth.--Webster's. A dependency on something soiled or filthy, such as sweaty underwear or
usedmenstrual pads.--Sex Lists.15 A desire to look at sexually stimulating scenes esp. as a
substitute foractual sexual participation that constitutes a partial or component instinctoften
sublimated (as in a desire for learning).--Webster's. A dependency on looking at sexual organs and
watching sexual activity openly.It is not surreptitious as in voyeurism.--Sex Lists.16 Being
dependently responsive to the smell or taste of urine or the sight andsound of someone
urinating.--Sex Lists.17 1: One whose sexual desire is concentrated upon seeing sex organs and
sexualacts -- called also peeping tom. 2: An unduly prying observer usu. in search ofsordid acts or
scandalous sights.--Webster's. Being dependently responsive to the risk of being caught while
illicitlypeering at another person or couple undressing or engaged in sexualactivity.--Sex Lists.18
Do NOT attempt this if you have a heart condition, or have a history ofcardiac failures.19 Do NOT
attempt this at home. This is an extremely dangerous activity. Thepeople who perform this feat are
highly trained athletes.20 Vaginal oral
sex.______________ Table of
ContentsDisclaimer of Liability AGenesis - History BInstructions for Use D1. Platonic Relations 12.
Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism 33. Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Questions 64. Drugs 95.
Non Platonic 116. Non Primary Choice Relations 157. Alternate Choices 178. Group Sexual Relations
199. Extracurricular, deviant conduct 21 9.1. Non sentient objects 21 9.2. Locality 24 9.3. Style
27I. Scoring 31II. Warranty Information 32--Back See All Our Feature Hardcore Sites! Fetish Club, 1
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