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my name is sister sophia. it is the year 1387. a few years ago i took my vows and entered the order of st. catherine. this is not my real voice you are hearing. i have taken a vow of silence. these are the sounds of my thoughts.

i admit that i did not enter the order out of piety. i entered to escape. yes, i am scared of the world. it is a frightening place. i did not want to get married, and i did not want to bring children into this world. so i left the home where my parents lived and came to this nunnery in the foothills, far away from the rest of the world. here in this silent world where we are not allowed to speak, i found peace and solitude, and for the first time in my life i found friends who were not threatening. here i was free to fall in love.

and fall in love i did. her name was sister margrette. i noticed her during my first mass here. she was saying her prayers. i was supposed to be saying my prayers too, but i couldn't help but to look at her. suddenly she looked up, as if she had been startled. she noticed me looking directly at her. i noticed her eyes. her eyes were beautiful, pools of water with firey islands blazing from the center of her pupils. she looked directly back at me, looking deep into my eyes. we held the glance, neither of us wanting to look away. until we became too afraid.

she took care of me those first few weeks. she showed me around. gave me a bed and linens. and helped me learn the way of life i now lead. one of the first nights here i became lonely. i missed my old home. she could sense my lonelyness, eventhough i could not say the words. she looked at me and gestured by nodding her head at the board, offering to stay the night with me. i nodded my acceptance. she slipped into my bed. i wrapped my arms around her. the look in her eyes as she looked at me told me not to be afraid. it told me that she loved me. she kissed me on the cheek. i kissed her back and i felt much better.

by day we worked tending the gardens. we would weed the plants and water them. When the summer roses bloomed by the wall I couldn't help noticing how magnificent, how soft, she looked framed by the soft velvety petals where she worked. i loved the way her hands curved around the spade, and her toes dug into the earth beneath her feet. throughout the day we would exchange glances and smiles.

i wanted her. i wanted her sexually. i knew these thoughts were unholy, that the church would not approve, but i knew for the first time in my life that i had discovered what love meant. to not express my love was agony. i wanted to share my feelings, my love, and my life with her. but if i was rejected by her, what would be the consequences? if she revealed my lust, i would be forced to leave the nunnery. but that would be the mildest of punishments, compared to her rejection of my love. i did not fear the wrath of god. i knew my love was holy. i feared her rejection.

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i planned how i would reveal my feelings. sometimes the sisters would go gathering mushrooms in the woods. that would give me some time and privacy. if she rejected me, i hoped that being out there would give me some time to set things straight before returning to the sisterhood. the next time we went gathering mushrooms, i led the way. i went deeper and deeper into the woods, deeper than we had ever gone before. a few times she glanced at me with a questioning look, asking me if i knew where i was going. i just nodded yes and kept going.

when i thought we were far enough away, i stopped and turned around, looking directly at her. she was taken back. she did not know how to react. she stood there looking at me. there was sexual tension in the air. i walked over to her and kissed her on the lips. she did not react. she just stood there like a statue, looking straight forward and breatheing heavily. i kissed her again while she just stood almost ignoring me. suddenly, as if a lifetime of inhibitions were suddenly released in a single second, she grabbed the back of my head and forced my lips back on hers. we kissed and kissed. tears came to her eyes. i broke the kiss to look in her eyes. she cried harder, and while her tear filled eyes looked into mine, she reached down and took off her nun's robe. i could only stare. she reached down to grab my hand, and brought my hand up to her right breast. i stroaked it tentatively, yet lovingly. she smiled and it was clear that those tears were tears of joy.

we fell to the ground. she slowly disrobed me. she rubbed her hands over my breasts, at first avoiding the nipples, until i couldn't stand it much longer. then finally she pinched them. my god, i was hers.

she crawled on top of me, her breasts rubbing against mine. i felt the damp earth under me and its moisture seeped into me. i was like a sponge absorbing my environment. her hands were touching me everywhere. she caressed my shoulders, my neck, my back, my stomach. she planted a trail of kisses across my body, starting on my forehead, my temples, my cheeks, my chin, my neck, my chest, across my breasts, down my stomach. i waited in suspense. would she kiss where i wanted her to kiss? she planted a trail of kisses down my leg, over my knee, down to my toes. i wiggled in ecstacy. she kissed up my thigh. she nuzzled my pubic hairs. oh how i wanted her tongue. she rubbed her cheek back over my stomach, and started kissing the bottom of my breast, specifically avoiding my nipples. my god, she was a tease. i grabbed her head and held it over my nipples, she finally licked them. i cried out.

i pushed her head down to that place that belonged only to her. my womanhood was hers. she planted kisses throughout my pubic hairs. i held her head tighter until she finally licked me. and she did not stop. we lay in each other's arms for hours that day, safe and comfortable.

we knew, our love would have to remain a secret. we knew that we could not share our joy with our sisters. but we had our own private little world, a safe world, a loving world. i had found my home. i had found the world between my lovers arms.