| Lyn called after eight; I was thinking she wouldn't
call at all, and I was
very glad to hear her voice. We talked for a while about school, going
so
far as to compare answers on our geometry homework. Finally we ran out
of
immediate topics and there was a silence.
"I'm sitting here with a pillow between my legs." Lyn murmured,
"Wishing
it were you."
"My mom's working in the next room, sewing." I said, hoping
she would
understand how I didn't want to talk very loudly or explicitly.
"Well, Friday we'll probably spend enough time together to end
up hating
each other."
I looked at the phone, as if was actually Lyn. "Never!" I
said firmly.
"Besides," I added, trying to cover up my sudden insecurity,
"there's
tomorrow."
Lyn sighed loudly. "Except right after school I have to run downtown
to
pick up my Mom and take her to her car, then follow her home. We probably
won't be home until six. And I have a chemistry assignment like you
wouldn't believe."
I mused for a second. "Do you think we like each other because
we're both
smart?"
She snorted. "I like you because you're a fox." A pause, "A
very nice,
smart fox. Petable and cuddly, too."
"Oh, you." I echoed her words from the other day. "You
have such a
penetrating way of expressing yourself."
She laughed. "I understand in order to graduate from college you
have to
take an oral exam. You'll pass in a second." Silly schoolgirl banter,
but my nipples were hard. Why didn't the damn things grow? It wasn't
for
any recent lack of stimulation!
"In order to do well," I told her, "you have to know
your subject from
the bottom up." Lyn cracked up, and I was having trouble stifling
my
giggles.
"Hands on experience of the fundament..als." She broke the
last word
obviously. "You're better at this than I am."
"Practice, practice, practice." I said, still almost laughing.
"What are friends for?" Lyn said.
I took a deep breath. "Rachael asked me after you left if we could
be
friends. Not like you and I, but friends. The three of us."
"She's nice." Lyn said after a pause. "You certainly
seemed to like her.
I was debating taking off my blouse to see if I could get your attention
back."
"Lyn!" I said scandalized. "It's not like that at all."
Another long pause. "And if it were?" Again I looked at the
phone in
consternation. Where did Lyn come up with these questions? Could it
be
that she wasn't really as sure of herself as she seemed to be? Was Lyn
as
confused, maybe, as me?
I didn't care if my mother was listening; she had the sewing machine
running, anyway. "Lyn, there's no one on earth I care as much about
as
you. Now and always."
"Always is a long time," She said, then laughed. "But
I'm happy with
now. We're too serious, you and I. Both of us need to lighten up.
Rachael's nice, and let's face it, neither of us have enough friends
to
want to chuck a volunteer away." I heard another voice in the distance
on
Lyn's end. "Coming, mom!" and Lyn spoke to me again. "We
had a late
dinner, and I got volunteered for dishes. If you have a minute after
school tomorrow, stop by my locker."
I agreed,and we hung up. I took the phone downstairs, and went back
and
laid on my bed, trying to read Silas Marner. For whatever reason, the
mundaneness of the people's lives fascinated me, so simple and
uncomplicated. I read about half of the story, stopped, and went back
and
reread part of it. Maybe I was missing something important. Maybe their
lives weren't mundane? Could their emotions and circumstances be as
tangled as mine and Lyn's? Didn't hardly seem possible; but then, they
were people too, right? What were their hopes and dreams? Fears? I was
learning about fears.
I reread more of the story, looking for hidden agendas, secrets. Well,
Elliot was a clever dude, I thought. They were there in aplenty, I'd
just never thought to look for them. Was that the point? Mildly curious
I read the part in the start of the book about the author. He was a
she?
A pen name? I fell asleep, wondering about it and everything else of
this
week. Nothing was as it seemed.
That night I dreamed Lyn, Rachael and I were walking down the street,
three abreast. I couldn't remember who was where, but I remember walking
past a place where the sidewalk was narrow, and we had to go single
file.
On the other side, Rachael ended up between us, and we had our arms
around
each other. We walked like that for a little ways, and I remember her
hand sliding up and cupping my breast.
I was surprised, and turned to her to say something, to see her other
hand
around Lyn, the same as me. "The Three Musketeers," Rachael
said, "All
for one and one for all." Her fingers were playing with my nipple
tip,
hard against her touch.
Rachael looked at me seriously. "I want to be your and Lyn's friend.
I
don't want to come between you, though. Just at the same time."
We all
three laughed, and I could see that Lyn's hand had moved to touch
Rachael's breast in turn, so I did the same thing. Rachael's nipples
were
very different from Lyn's or mine, small and hard.
I awoke, feeling like I'd really been there, that it had really happened.
I debating rolling over and going back to sleep, but I was too hot and
I
wanted to come very much.
I moved my hand between my legs, and started gently rubbing circles
on my
clit, wishing Lyn was there to do it for me; her tongue felt much better
than my fingers. I let out a small groan; hard to believe I hadn't done
this for two days! I missed it so much! I moved my fingers faster and
faster on my clit, using the growing moisture to make it feel much better.
I couldn't lay still, I twisted my head from side to side, making guttural
noises of want and desire, bucking my hips up against my probing fingers;
finally startling myself as to the volume. I stifled my next groan,
and
the next, but when I put two fingers inside me, I thought the windows
rattled.
I rolled over on my stomach, pressing the pillow between my legs like
I
remembered Lyn talking about. It was nice, but not nice enough. The
rough feel of the sheets on my nipples also accentuated my pleasure.
I
had a very, very, hard time falling asleep.
Thursday when I woke I wasn't feeling nearly as chipper as I'd felt
the
morning before, and I felt logy, even after my shower. And, when I'd
been
running the washrag over my breasts, I'd been thinking about Rachael,
and
that in a few hours I'd be seeing her in PE. Like Tuesday, I was suddenly
afraid I was going to completely lose my cool in the locker room.
Clothes for this morning, were easily the most complicated decision
yet.
Lyn didn't dislike dresses; but she always made a sarcastic comment
about
it when I wore one. I ran my hands over my brown velvet corduroy jeans,
and grinned. They were for Friday; no doubt about it. I had a cord blouse
too, tan and soft and furry. Thinking about how Lyn was going to take
them off left me weak-kneed and with damp panties.
What might Rachael like? The question had nagged at me all night; I'd
kept telling myself it wasn't important, nothing was going to happen.
But
in the early morning hours, looking at myself in the mirror, I wasn't
so
sure. I went for austerity; a plain black skirt, knee length, and black
panty hose. I had a sky blue blouse, and I picked that and a gold choker
necklace I'd gotten two years ago on my birthday.
Ostentatious austerity, I thought looking at myself in the mirror. I
ran
my hands over my breasts. I wished they were larger! Like Lyn's even;
and Rachael's were perfect! All I had were tiny nubbins and while
sensitive, I didn't think they were ever going to attract anyone at
all.
I wasn't sure why I wanted to appeal to Rachael; what if we made love?
That thought made me feel every bit as excited as when I thought about
Lyn.
Was I being unfaithful? I thought about Lyn, wishing I could talk to
her, tell her I loved her and show her how much. Rachael was different:
I
couldn't say how or why, but it was like eating apples and oranges.
Both
yummy, both nice. But different. Is it unfair to oranges if you like
apples too? I was so confused. Lyn was an orange, I thought, soft and
yummy sweet and delicious. Rachael, firm and hard. Tart, I thought,
sharp, maybe; tart had other meanings that didn't fit Rachael.
In English that morning, I glanced at Rachael, who smiled back. She
was
wearing, I was surprised to see, a black dress too, very long, almost
midway between her knees and ankles, but no stockings. Her dress was
beautiful, embroidered with all sorts of colorful flowers, blues and
yellows and reds and greens.
After class we met outside, and walked towards PE, quickly, because
it was
a ways. "I love your dress," I told her.
"I embroidered it myself." She said, eyes sparkling. "I
love flowers."
"It's so plain....yet so elegant." I told her, "It looks
like it came out
of a fashion magazine." She grinned at me, obviously pleased.
"Where's Lyn?" She asked.
"Sophomores have more important things to do than PE" I told
her,
"Health. State Government."
She made a face. "First I had a class in Texas government; you
had to
pass it to get to high school. Now I need to learn Arizona Government,
you need it to graduate from high school." She shook her head.
"I wish
they could make up their minds."
"Men!" I snorted, half in jest.
I saw Rachael look at me with a curious expression on her face; I tried
very hard not to blush. I don't know if I was entirely successful, but
at
least I didn't feel warm and flushed like usual.
In the locker room when I was taking off my clothes, I stood at an angle
to my locker, rather than front on; Rachael, I could see easily, had
done
the same thing; she facing me, and I facing her. There was no time to
dwell on things, but when Judy Gray brushed past me on the way out,
she
glanced down at my breasts, covered only by my halter top.
"Damn cold in here this morning, isn't it?" I glanced down
myself, and
saw my erect nipples, clearly visible through the thin fabric of the
halter. It was cold; the air conditioning seemed to have been left on
overnight in the locker room, but I knew that wasn't why my nipples
were
hard. I hastily donned my t-shirt and shorts, and assembled outside
with
the others for another hour of futile basketball practice.
There were a half dozen girls who were any good, and they always formed
into a team; playing against them was humiliating at the best of times.
Today was no different; my team got beat a million to one, or some
ridiculous score. Afterwards, the coach told Rachael to take the
equipment back to the store room, and having nothing better to do, I
helped her gather the balls and stuff them in the big net carry bag.
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We got to the showers a few minutes after everyone else, they were
mostly
done; a minute later we were alone. I thought Rachael took extra time
soaping between her legs; and her nipples were as erect as mine. She
saw
me looking at her and grinned. "At least today I get to see you,
too."
Her voice was very soft.
"Not much to see," I said, running my soapy fingers over my
breasts.
"Lyn likes them." Rachael said in soft whisper. "I like
them too."
I blushed, there was no helping it. I hadn't found my tongue when the
coach stuck her head into the shower room. "Hustle up you two,
you'll be
late for your next class." It's a good thing I didn't have to pee
right
then, because the spasm of fear in my stomach would have embarrassed
me
altogether.
We rinsed off and then towelled dry. I couldn't stop myself from watching
Rachael, and she kept glancing at me as well. She was very pretty, I
thought. Lyn had a nice bottom, but Rachael's was more rounded, and
more
muscular; in fact, Rachael had a lot of muscles and they looked really
good on her.
There really was no worry about being late for our next class, both
of us
had lunch next, and we walked together, talking about school and families,
and sat and ate together, still talking. Finally she had to go to
geometry; I was briefly envious of her having it the same period as
Lyn,
but dismissed the thought as silly.
The rest of the day passed quickly, and I met Lyn at her locker. "Want
a
ride?" She asked, "it's kind of on the way, seems the least
I can do." I
nodded, eager for the shortest amount of time with Lyn. We talked about
the weekend, and both of us looked at each other and sighed at the same
time, as Lyn started the car.
"I've missed you so much." She murmured, "I never thought
it would be
this long..."
I laughed. "I was thinking that this time last week, I didn't even
know
you. Now I want to make love to you every day of the week, and hate
it
when we can't."
She reached out and touched my hand, just for a brief second. We got
to
my house and I got out, wishing I had the nerve to kiss her, but just
couldn't yet, not in public. I'd gotten half way to the door when Lyn
hopped out of the car, and opened the trunk. My skirt! She brought it
to
me, and I grinned. "Rachael forget to return my blouse, but this
is
something!" I said. Lyn grinned. "We're almost inside,"
I said softly.
"Could you come in for just a second?"
Lyn looked distressed. "If I'm late, mom will kill me." But
she followed
me in. I closed the door and we were in each others arms a millisecond
later, our tongues surging and hands running over each other's body.
Lyn
pulled back after a second. "Tomorrow is going to be so wonderful!"
She
breathed, and I nodded. "But I have to go." She leaned close,
kissing my
neck, her fingers working the buttons of my blouse, kissing down my
chest,
pushing my bra out of the way, until she found my nipple. For a second
her tongue ran over it, raising it to instant attention.
She nipped it, then kissed me quickly on the mouth. "Tomorrow,
Katie.
Tomorrow." She left, and I watched her go, then sank trembling
to the
couch. How did people ever survive being a teenager? Was it like this
for
other girls? The boys?
I ran my finger lightly over my still damp nipple. How much I wanted
Lyn!
My nipple was hard, and I flicked it very fast, growing very aroused.
The door bell rang and I was totally flustered. I was tempted to ignore
it, but it rang again, and so I got up, buttoning my blouse. It was
Rachael. "I forgot your blouse." She said contritely, handing
it to me.
Taken on top of my last thoughts, it was a little much.
"Gosh," I said, trying to cover the sudden rush of yet more
hormones to
my brain centers. "You could have just brought it to school tomorrow.
You
didn't have to walk over here."
She laughed. "I've lived here all my life; this isn't that warm
yet."
She looked at me. "And," she paused, "I wanted to see
you." She looked
at me curiously. "Are you okay?"
I couldn't figure what she meant, then I realized I was still hot from
touching myself. "I was engaging in a little self indulgence."
I told
her. "Lyn was here for about two seconds; she has to pick up her
mom
again." I shook my head in wonder. "I've known her only six
days." I
looked Rachael in the eyes, "and we've only made love twice. It
has
been," I said sadly, "very frustrating." I held out my
hand a little in
front of me. "I find my pleasure where and when I can."
Rachael giggled. "I think you just said something naughty, but
I haven't
any idea what you are talking about."
I looked at her in surprise. "You know, touching yourself. Masturbation."
I blushed at saying the word. "They taught us about it in health."
Rachael turned even redder than I usually get. "I didn't know what
they
were talking about. The book didn't have much of a definition and the
teacher just said, 'A lot of people do it, you won't go blind if you
do.
Too much of anything is bad.' I kept dreading it being a question on
a
test. "
Was Rachael putting me on? She'd never touched herself? Didn't even
know
what it was? "Kate, my parents never tell me about anything. I'm
their
little girl; little girls don't need to know things like that. My sisters
call me 'shrimp' and mostly ignore me."
She could read me like an open book, I thought. I had to learn how not
to
blush. On top of that, I felt a wicked thrill; maybe Rachael would like
to learn about this? The thought of teaching her sent shivers of pleasure
shooting through my body.
"Do your nipples ever get hard?" I asked, embarrassed still,
asking such
a personal question.
Rachael nodded. "Yesterday when I came out and saw you and Lyn...it
almost hurt." She sighed. "Other times, when I wake up, sometimes
they
are like that. I can remember dreams..."
I smiled. "Yeah. Think about yesterday, and Lyn and I. You've just
come
out and saw us. Close your eyes and remember." She did, and I after
a
second, I added, "Now, rub your stomach."
Rachael opened her eyes and looked at me. "What?"
"Trust me." I said, hating sounding even a little like what
William must
have sounded like yesterday. Rachael closed her eyes again, and her
hand
started rubbing small circles, just above her belly button. "Lower,"
I
said to her, and she obediently moved her hand to just below her belly
button. "Lower," I said more quietly, and then again when
she ended up
only half way to where I wanted her to touch.
Rachael took a deep breath, and rubbed across the front of her jeans.
"When you touch a spot that feels good, touch it again." I
said quietly as
I watched her hand rub across her middle. As if on cue, she gave a small
gasp, and blushed, looking at me. "Like that." I told her.
Eyes wide, she
nodded, and ran her hand over the spot again.
"Oh, Kate!" Rachael breathed.
"Undo your jeans," I whispered softly, "and reach inside
to touch
yourself." Rachael did it one handed, the hand rubbing herself
kept at it.
"Touch the same spot again," I told her.
Rachael's eyes were closed, and I could see her hand move faster and
faster. Her breathing grew very rapid, and she began to gasp lightly,
then after a minute, louder, until finally she gave almost a groan,
her
entire body shivering.
"Katie!" She sighed, opening her eyes. "That was..."
Rachael shook her
head. "Incredible." She looked at me and blushed slightly.
"I still want
to do it." Her hands were still inside her panties, lightly moving.
"But
I don't think my knees will hold me up."
I grinned. "Not uncommon; sometimes I do it over and over again."
I
paused, and went on, "of course, I am usually undressed, laying
in bed." I
gestured at her upper body. "Touching your breasts, that's good
too.
Usually I do both to make it happen."
Rachael reached up and ran a hand across her breasts; but her jeans
started to slide down. We giggled, as Rachael tried to haul them back
up.
"Being in undressed in bed does seem like it'll work better."
She said,
half frustrated. She lifted her eyes to mine. "Katie..."
I returned her gaze and Rachael smiled for a moment. "In two months
I'll
be eighteen. In all that time, no has ever really kissed me. Much less,"
she motioned at her undone jeans.
I giggled. "Up until last weekend, I thought I'd been kissed. Several
boys; and we spent a lot of time on it. Lyn kisses so much better..."
I
looked into her eyes. "When Lyn kisses you, you know you've been
kissed."
Rachael smiled shyly. "How am I ever going to get kissed like that?"
"Ask," I whispered, leaning close to lightly brush her lips
with mine.
"Rachael, I'm not William," I whispered, "I understand
'No', 'Stop' makes
perfect sense."
"Kiss me," Rachael said simply. I lifted her chin with one
finger, and
kissed her full on the lips. Rachael was tentative and shy, and now
I was
the mild aggressor, pressing my lips against hers, and after a minute,
using the tip of my tongue. Her arms wrapped around me, and I hugged
Rachael back, delighting in the pressure of her body against mine.
The kiss went on and on, and I ran my hands over her back, down from
her
shoulders to above where her jeans had finally settled, brushing her
panties. She drew away, looking at me gravely. "Katie, I'm not
real sure
I'm ready for more."
I kissed her nose, then brushed her lips, pulling my body back from
touching hers. "I'm not sure I have this figured out, either."
I looked
at her dark brown eyes, then my eyes swept over her blouse. "I
like how
this feels; I tell you true." I said quietly. "I care about
Lyn; I care
about you. What that means..." I spread my hands. "I don't
know." I
know I sounded very forlorn.
She smiled. "One day I'll be ready; soon, I think. I like you a
lot,
Katie. I like Lyn. I..." her voice died in a whisper. "I just
don't
know what I think any more."
"Me too." I said simply. "Lyn, I think, too. She sounds
confident, but
underneath, I think she's just as confused as I am."
Rachael pulled her jeans up and snapped them. "I want to kiss you
again."
I laughed, and kissed her good.
"See," I said after a long minute. "I can behave."
"But it's a strain." Rachael said, "at least for me."
"Me too." The clock chimed the hour. "My mom's going
to be home any
second. She understood, I think, Lyn. I'm not sure she'd understand
you."
Rachael giggled. And this time she kissed me; Rachael was, I thought,
at least as smart as Lyn and I. Definitely a fast learner. She broke
away. She reached out and took my hand; a very shy move in spite of
it
being her taking mine.
"Lunch tomorrow?" She asked. I nodded. "I need some time
to think. You
and Lyn are going to spend the weekend together?" I nodded. Rachael
sighed. "I wish I could be with you."
Apples and oranges. What kind of fruit was I? At the thought I almost
died; was that what we were? Strange, sex-starved boy-haters, not capable
of real love? I decided that if Lyn was an orange, and Rachael was an
apple, then I had to be a banana. I saw Rachael was looking at me and
I
laughed. "Strange thoughts." I sighed. "Very strange
thoughts. Let me
talk to Lyn...we were going to the park Saturday morning. I think she'd
like it if the three of us went together." I remembered my dream,
the
three of us walking, hands on each other's breasts. Was that what I
wanted? I was just too confused; I needed time to think.
I kissed Rachael quickly, one last time before she left. For the second
day in a row I watched her walking away, wishing for so many things.
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